


need you 100 percent

by just_in_cases



Category: One Direction (Band), Radio 1 RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Domestic Fluff, Kid Fic, M/M, Single Dad Nick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-12
Updated: 2014-07-12
Packaged: 2018-02-08 14:30:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 30,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1944699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/just_in_cases/pseuds/just_in_cases
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick's a single dad who devotes all his time and attention to his son. Louis' the boy who lives down the hall that shows up one night and changes everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	need you 100 percent

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dessertmeltdown](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dessertmeltdown/gifts).



> Based on this prompt:
> 
> Kidfic - Nick is a single father, and Louis lives down the hall. Non-famous AU. I'm not too picky about how this goes, but I'd like a lot of domesticity and curtain fic tropes. Nick has an emergency and Louis offers to babysit. There's grocery shopping. friends to lovers kind of thing, but maybe it's sort of more in an 'oops somehow we fell in love without realizing it' kind of way.
> 
>  
> 
> Big thanks to my two betas, you know who you are, for helping me and encouraging me through writing this fic!
> 
>  
> 
> Title from "Need You (100%)" by Duke Dumont

It’s been an hour and Nick can’t get him to stop screaming. 

He’s tried everything: pacifiers, rocking him, playing calm music, singing to him, playing peek-a-boo, and wiggling his favourite stuffed animal in his face. Even the dinosaur mobile that Aimee bought the day he was born, that never fails to put him to sleep, isn’t working. None of it is working and it’s 2 am on Wednesday and Nick isn’t too crazy about being the most-hated tenant in his building just because his son can’t quite use words yet to tell him what he needs.

So here he is, standing in the middle of his flat, bouncing his child up and down on his hip begging him to stop screaming. “Come on, Grayson. Please stop crying? Daddy really needs you to stop crying.” 

Nick is about to start crying himself when there’s a knock on his door.

And, fuck. Here it is. The first noise complaint of the night. He wonders how long it’ll take until there are enough complaints to get him evicted. 

Judging by tonight’s events, he gives it ‘til morning.

He’s expecting to open the door to the angry face of Mrs. Baker from next door. She’s had it out for him since the day he moved into his flat. Nick remembers her putting her opinion out there when they were moving their belongings in, something about two men living together with a baby and how it was an abomination. Henry, his roommate at the time, simply told her that she shouldn’t be so vile seeing as she probably didn’t have much time left on the planet anyway. “Should probably spend these last few years being a cheerier person, ma’am,” he recalls Henry saying as Mrs. Baker glared from where she leaned against her doorframe, watching the two of them carry Grayson’s crib in from the hallway. And yeah, that probably didn’t help Nick’s case.

So he’s a bit surprised when he opens the door and finds the boy from a few doors down standing in front of him.

“I’m sorry. I’m trying to get him to stop crying and if you could please wait until morning to yell at me about the noise I’d appreciate it. It’s been a really long night and I don’t think I can take anyone else screaming in my ear,” Nick let’s out in one breath before any greetings are exchanged.

The boy raises his hands in front of him defensively before speaking. “Wasn’t going to yell at you, mate. Just wanted to see if you needed any help, is all. I know a thing or two about babies, thought I could be of some assistance. And, no offense, but by the sounds of it, I think you could use any help that’s offered.”

“Oh, umm, yeah. Come on in, then. Should probably shut the door before I wake the whole floor,” Nick says as he closes the door behind the boy.

The boy laughs at that. “Too late for that, I’m afraid. Pretty sure the whole floor is already awake. I saw Mrs. Baker poking her head out of her door on my way over, she didn’t look too happy.”

“Mrs. Baker never looks happy,” Nick mumbles as he tries to get his son to stop spitting his pacifier out of his mouth. After the third try, he gives up and tosses it on the couch.

“She definitely didn’t look happy the first day I moved in and I rode down the hallway on my skateboard.” The boy looks proud of that, like his goal when he moved in was to piss off all the elderly ladies. “Told me that a hallway is not the proper place for my antics and then she went back into her flat complaining about how her building is being taken over by young hoodlums.”

“So that makes two of us that she can’t stand, then? I’m Nick, by the way, and this noisy one,” Nick nods his head to where the child is crying in his arms, “is my son, Grayson.”

“I’m Louis,” the boy tells Nick. They share a short lived smile before Grayson’s crying grows louder. Louis turns his attention to him, cocks his head to the side like he’s assessing what’s going on. “He looks flushed. Is he warm? Think he could have a fever?”

Nick presses his hand to Grayson’s forehead. “Maybe?” he contemplates, “Thermometer is broken though, so I have no idea. Is there a way to check those things without them?”

Louis holds his hands out towards the baby, “Mind if I see him?” 

It would usually take Nick longer than a few seconds to decide to hand his son over to someone he just met. But, given the circumstances of the night, he hands him over to Louis and let’s out a short sigh of relief.

“Hi Grayson,” Louis coos in a gentle voice as he’s handed the crying baby. He presses his hand to Grayson’s back, the back of his neck, and his forehead before looking over at Nick. “He could have a low-grade fever, doesn’t feel like much though. But it’s probably why he’s so fussy tonight, and he does look a little flushed. Some fever reducer medicine should take care of it.”

“Riiiiiiiiiight,” Nick mulls over.

“You don’t have any, do you?” Louis concludes.

Nick’s chin drops to his chest, feeling utterly defeated and embarrassed. He can’t even bring himself to look Louis in the face when he speaks next. “You wouldn’t think I was a horrible dad if I said no, would you?” It’s what Nick’s always been worried about, that he’s not good at taking care of Grayson and that other people will notice his shortcomings. He peeks at Louis through his wilted quiff just in time for the boy to respond.

Louis shakes his head, “No, just someone who’s a little overwhelmed by it all. But, that’s parenting, innit?” he shrugs his shoulders before continuing, “There’s a 24 hour pharmacy right at the corner of our block. Why don’t you run down there and see what you can find? I can stay here with him while you’re gone.”

“I can’t let you do that, Louis. I can’t ask you to stay here when you could go back to your flat and get some sleep.”

Louis looks down at where the Grayson is chewing on the string of his hoodie. The crying has quieted a little bit, but he’s hiccupping now and his eyes show that the tears could start up again any second. “Mate, no one on this floor is going to get any sleep until you get him some medicine. Trust me. I helped raise all my sisters, I know what I’m doing. Besides, you look like you need a spot of fresh air. Just go. You’ll only be gone, what? Five minutes? We’ll be here when you get back. I promise. Now go.”

And really, if Nick wasn’t exhausted and on the edge of a breakdown, he probably would’ve asked Louis for some sort of references to contact before leaving his child with him. He doesn’t just trust anyone with his son. But, it is 2am on a Wednesday. And Nick _does_ need some fresh air and a break from the crying.

“Okay, I’ll go.” Nick grabs the baby monitor from the side table before shrugging on his jacket and shoes and giving Grayson a goodbye kiss on the forehead. He slips the baby monitor in his jacket pocket. It was one of the most expensive ones in the store and the package advertised in huge letters about how great it’s range was, so he thinks it might reach to the corner of the street. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.” He says before walking out the door.

It only takes about ten minutes for Nick to return to his flat. There’s a bottle of medicine in one hand and a bottle of cheap wine in the other. He saw it on his way to pay for the medicine and decided that after the night he’s had, he deserves it. 

When he walks the final steps to his door, he notices that something’s not right. 

It’s quiet.

For the first time tonight, it’s _completely_ quiet.

Nick checks the brass numbers on the door to make sure he’s at the right flat, that his exhaustion hasn’t made him delirious, causing him to step off the lift onto the wrong floor. 

But this is indeed his door. And it’s _too_ quiet.

And this is the part where Nick realizes that he shouldn’t have left his small helpless child with someone who’s last name he doesn’t even know. Someone who could be a serial kidnapper for all he knows. Someone who could be a drug dealer who sells kids on the black market. The possibilities are endless and they keep running through Nick’s mind, causing him to panic as he pulls his keys out of his pocket, dropping them from his shaking fingers in the process. He bends down to pick them up and when he stands up straight again, the door is opening in front of him.

“You have to be quiet,” Louis whispers, “He just fell asleep.”

Nick’s eyebrows furrow together in confusion, “He what? How did you do that?”

He follows Louis into his flat, quietly closing the door behind him while listening to how this boy who doesn’t know Grayson at all was the one who managed to get him to cooperate and get to sleep.

“I called my mum because she’s a nurse and she knows all about this kind of stuff, kids being sick and all. She told me he was probably a bit dehydrated, so she asked me if there were any popsicles around. Surprisingly, you did have some in your freezer. They were hidden behind those frozen tv dinners. So I turned the fan on to cool him down a bit and let him suck on a popsicle. He fell asleep not too long after. She said he might be teething too, they get fussy when that happens. It would explain why he was acting the way he was tonight.”

Louis beaming with pride as he finishes his story and Nick is still in shock from the lack of noise filling the air around him.

Nick isn’t sure what to say, so he just holds out the bottle of wine between them. “You want a glass of wine? It’s the cheap stuff, nothing fancy, but it’s all I can afford anymore seeing as raising a baby drains your bank account. It’s the least I can do to thank you for helping tonight.” 

Before he answers with words, Louis reaches out and grabs the bottle from Nick’s hand. He opens it and raises it to his lips, takes a swig straight from the bottle before wiping his mouth with the sleeve of his hoodie. “Sure, but do we really need glasses? Just create more work for you, wouldn’t it? Seems you got your hands full already.”

Before Nick can reply, Louis moves to sit on the couch, curling his legs under his body and positioning himself so his back is leaning against the arm. Nick takes the baby monitor out of his jacket pocket and sets it on the coffee table before shrugging off the jacket and tossing it into the chair next to him. He sits at the other end of the couch, legs stretched out in front of him, facing Louis. 

Louis takes one more long drink of wine before handing over the bottle. 

Nick takes a drink and lets the wine sit in his mouth long enough to savor the taste before swallowing it. He doesn’t really remember the last time he drank alcohol, his party days are far behind him now that there’s another human being relying on him for everything. His grapes tend to come in a different form these days: juice boxes.

“So, how long have you lived here?” Nick asks as he raises the bottle back to his lips. He takes another drink and then passes it back to Louis.

“Just about three months. Moved here right after I graduated from uni. It was either this or move back home and help take care of my siblings. And, I mean, don’t get me wrong. I love my family and I really do like helping my mum out, but I just need some time for myself, you know?” He takes a long drink and hands the wine back to Nick. “How long have you been here?”

“About a year now, I guess? Moved in my mate, Henry, shortly after Grayson was born. Then Henry left when his boyfriend asked him to move in and for the past few months it’s just been me and Grayson.” Nick idly runs his fingers over the neck of the wine bottle as he talks. “Never really pictured that it was going to be like this, you know? Thought I was just doing my friend a favor when she and her husband couldn’t get pregnant. Thought I could just donate some of my stuff to help them along. Be a good friend and all that.”

“So,” Louis stops himself and it brings Nick’s attention to the boy in front of him. He looks unsure if it’s his place to ask, but he slowly let’s the words fall out of his mouth. “What happened?”

“They got a divorce right before Grayson was born. I guess it had been a long time coming and they thought having a baby would bring them together again or summat? I don’t really know the whole story. I just know that she came to me about two months before he was due and said she couldn’t be a single mum, that she didn’t even really want to be a mum in the first place.” Nick glances around at the pictures of Grayson littering the shelves in his flat, “She was going to put him up for adoption after he was born but I couldn’t let her do that. I mean, he was half mine, like, I helped make him. I couldn’t let a stranger raise him. When I told her I wanted him, she gave up all her parental rights and then moved to France, haven’t seen her since. It’s just been the two of us since then.”

He moves his hand to rub at his eye, he’ll be damned if he starts to cry in front of someone he just met.

Louis rests his hand on Nick’s ankle, gently rubbing over the bone with his thumb. “That’s incredible, really. He’s lucky to have you. And like, I get it. I get having a parent who wants nothing to do with you and I get having a parent who takes on the challenge of raising you on their own. He’s going to grow up and look back on everything and he’ll realize how selfless that was for you to do.”

“I don’t even know what the fuck I’m doing sometimes.” Nick whispers into the quiet of his flat. And it’s true. He’s still learning how to be a parent, each and every day. There are some days where he feels completely overwhelmed, where he knows it would be easier if it was just himself that he was taking care of. But no matter how stressful and scary it is, he has never regretted his decision to keep Grayson, not once. That feeling has never been a blip on Nick’s emotional radar.

“Don’t think any parents do, really,” Louis reassures him with a smile. “But hey, I’m right down the hall and I’ll be happy to babysit anytime you need me to. I should actually be getting back now, though. Could probably do with a few hours of sleep before I have to work tomorrow evening.”

Nick glances down at his watch. 4 AM. He can squeeze in about three hours of sleep before Grayson wakes up. The two of them stand up from the couch. Nick sets the wine down on the coffee table while Louis grabs his jacket from the back of the chair, and they walk to the door.

“Thanks again, Louis. Don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t come over tonight.” Nick says as he opens the door to his flat.

“Probably be fighting the threat of eviction,” Louis jokes and it brings a laugh out of Nick. “I was serious by the way, if you need anyone to babysit, just let me know. I’m free most weekends and mornings.”

“I’ll remember that,” Nick says as Louis steps into the hallway, “I’ll see you around.”

Louis starts backwards down the hallway towards his flat. “See you around, Nick,” he waves before turning to watch where he’s walking.

Nick doesn’t go back inside until Louis gets to his door and disappears inside of his own flat. Before he goes to bed, Nick puts the rest of the bottle of wine in the refrigerator and sets the medicine he got for Grayson on the counter just in case he needs it in the morning. 

He pokes his head inside Grayson’s room on the way to his own and takes a few seconds to watch Grayson’s chest rise and fall, quiet breaths escaping his parted lips as he sleeps in his crib. He’s amazed that just earlier that night, Grayson was screaming louder than Nick thought was humanly possible and now he looks so peaceful in his slumber. 

He walks further into the room to make sure Grayson’s favourite stuffed dinosaur is lying by him in his crib before bending down and kissing him on his forehead. As he leaves, he takes one last glance at his son, reveling in the fact that he helped create the beautiful baby sleeping in front of him.

Nick quietly pulls the door closed, pausing to search for any noise that may indicate that Grayson woke up when the door shut. When all he hears is his own breathing, he makes his way to his bedroom, shucks off his clothes and crawls under his comforter.

It takes mere minutes before he’s fast asleep.

\-----

Nick wakes up at 7 am to the sound of Grayson’s cries coming through the baby monitor positioned on the pillow next to him. It’s not until he stands up from bed that he realizes how much sleep he _didn’t_ get last night. He should be used to it by now, he thinks, seeing as he’s been doing this for over a year now. But the exhaustion is something he’s not sure he’ll ever get used to. 

He makes his way into Grayson’s room, fearful that his son will still be ill. But when he reaches down to touch the back of his hand to his forehead, the child doesn’t feel the slightest bit warm. Nick scoops Grayson up out of his crib and the crying immediately stops as he nuzzles his head into his shoulder. He lets out a breath that he feels he’s been holding in for far too long, thankful that his son is feeling better this morning. He’ll have to remember to put the medicine he bought last night in a safe place so he has it on hand the next time this happens. He’ll be prepared next time, he tells himself.

“Hey buddy, you feeling better this morning?” Nick asks as he moves around the room, his son sitting on his hip.

Grayson replies with a happy sounding shriek and kicking feet.

“I’ll take that as a yes, then! How about we get you some breakfast?” Grayson’s mouth opens and closes at that, letting a sound escape that Nick truly believes means something to his son, even if Nick isn’t sure what that something is. “Yes! Food! You’re getting it! Genius baby, you are!”

He carries Grayson to the kitchen and places him in his highchair before grabbing a pouch of baby food. “How do apples and apricots sound this morning? Yummy?” Nick holds the pouch in the air towards his son who responds by reaching his arm out as far as he can towards the food. Like if he just tries a little harder, his arm will magically grow longer and he’ll snatch the pouch out of Nick’s hand. “Apples and apricots it is, then!”

He hands Grayson the food before turning towards the counter and sticking two pieces of bread in the toaster. When they’ve popped up, he spreads jam on the tops of them and pours some milk in two cups, one for Grayson and one for himself. He sticks the pieces of bread in his mouth so he only has to take one trip to carry everything to the table where Grayson’s waiting patiently for his milk. 

After he sets the cups down and takes the bread out of his mouth, Nick unlocks his phone to check the weather forecast for the day. He takes a bite of his toast as he waits for the app to appear on his screen. When he sees the mild temperatures and no threat for rain, he turns to Grayson. “How does a day at the park sound, hmm?” 

Grayson answers by throwing around his limbs and making noises that sound like nonsense to Nick; he’s going to take that as another yes. 

Luckily, the park is just a short walk down the street from their flat. It’s one of the things he was looking for when he was looking for a place to live. Close to a park, safe neighborhood, quiet at night, far enough away from the pubs that random drunks wouldn’t think the front door of the building was their bed. When he and Henry were given a tour of this building, Nick immediately knew it was the one he wanted to raise his son in.

Nick packs a diaper bag with the necessities while Grayson watches cartoons on the couch. He makes sure to throw in a few snacks for the both of them and a few small toys to keep Grayson occupied while they’re there. He grabs a blanket from the closet and tosses it into the bottom of the pram before setting the bag on top of it.

He puts a lightweight jacket on Grayson and zips it up before buckling him into his seat. “All ready!” Nick says before taking his phone out of his pocket and sending a text to Harry. 

_Heading up to the park with Grayson. You free to join?_

He doesn’t even have time to put his phone back in his pocket before it’s buzzing in his hand.

_I’ll be there! Haven’t seen my godson in awhile!_

Nick doesn’t need reminding that it’s been awhile. He knows it has and he feels guilty about it. He can’t quite remember how Harry fell into his life so many years ago, just remembers him being there and not leaving. Harry had been there through everything with Grayson. He helped Nick decide to donate his sperm to help out his friends and he was there to help Nick make the decision to keep Grayson when his mum said she didn’t want him. 

Harry was right by Nick’s side when he brought Grayson home from the hospital. And Harry laid in bed and held Nick that night after they finally got the baby to fall asleep, when it all came crashing down on Nick just how in over his head he was with all of this. 

It was only right to name Harry Grayson’s godfather. 

After the short walk to the park, they find a spot under a tree to make their own. Nick spreads the blanket on the ground before he unbuckles Grayson and sets him in the middle of it. He pulls some of the toys out of the bag he brought and places them around his son.

About ten minutes later, Harry is jogging towards them. The first thing he does, like always, is lifts Grayson up and spins him around in a circle, leaving the baby laughing so much his cheeks turn red.

“And how’s my favourite godson today?” Harry coos as Grayson latches on to a lock of his hair, giving it a small tug. “Remember, no pulling! That hurts Uncle Harry!” He manages to pry the small hand from his hair and he moves to sit on the blanket, situating Grayson between his outstretched legs.

“Well hello to you too, Harold,” Nick pipes up from where he’s been leaning against the tree, watching the scene play out in front of him.

“Hiya, Nicholas Grimshaw!” Harry says nonchalantly, not even sparing a look in Nick’s direction, focusing all of his attention on Grayson instead.

Nick understands, though. Harry and Grayson have always had a special bond. And it _has_ been awhile since they’ve seen each other, so Nick will excuse the lack of a proper greeting. But just this once.

The three of them sit in peace for a few minutes. Harry and Grayson play peek-a-boo on the blanket as Nick relaxes his eyes behind his sunglasses that are perched on top of his nose. The soft giggles coming from Grayson (and Harry) are calming as he presses his eyelids shut.

He can feel his body about to drift off right as he hears someone shout, “WATCH OUT!”

His eyes snap open just in time to see a football come flying towards them. It ends up hitting the tree right above Nick’s head before bouncing away from the blanket and rolling a bit further until it loses it’s momentum and comes to a stop.

Nick immediately stands up and clenches his fists at his sides, a wave of anger washing over him. “WHAT THE FUCK? CAN YOU NOT SEE THERE’S A SMALL CHILD OVER HERE. YOU COULD HAVE SERIOUSLY HURT HIM! WHO KICKED THIS BALL ANYWAY?” It’s not too often that Defensive Dad Nick comes out, but he has a right to be protective when a bloody football comes just a few feet shy of hitting his son. 

He looks down at Grayson and is met with wide brown eyes staring right back at him. Nick can see a slight wobble in his son’s lip and he instantly changes his tone to amend the situation. “Hey buddy,” he says softly as he squats down to Grayson’s level, “I’m sorry daddy got loud. I just want to keep you safe. I didn’t mean to scare you.” He plants a kiss right on the top of his son’s head before he stands again.

Grayson somehow manages to keep the tears from rolling down his cheek. Harry picks him up from the blanket and holds him close as Nick turns to face the direction the ball came flying from. 

A blonde boy is running quickly towards them. He stops a few feet shy of their blanket, reaching up to wipe the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand. “I’m so sorry lads. We weren’t trying to aim it over here, I swear. Is everyone okay?” The boy picks up the football from where it landed and stands up straight, “Me name’s, Niall.” He holds out a hand in Nick’s direction, waiting for a handshake.

Nick pointedly ignores the boy’s hand and when he speaks, he makes sure there’s a bite to his voice. “Well, _Niall_. Next time I’d appreciate it if you and your friends would watch out for small children while you’re kicking that stupid thing around.” 

“We will! Promise!” Niall assures him as he begins to bounce the football up and down on his knee.

Before Niall can go back to where he and his friends were kicking the ball around, the other three boys are making their way towards the tree Nick claimed as his own. Nick has to squint his eyes at first, but as they get closer, there’s no doubt in his mind about who he’s seeing walking towards him.

“Louis?” Nick asks as they get closer. He can tell the exact moment the other boy realizes who’s standing in front of him.

“Nick! Oh god, I’m so sorry about that. Zayny over here doesn’t know the power of his own foot. Promise it won’t happen again.” Louis says before turning to where Grayson is being held by Harry. “He’s feeling better today, then?”

“Yeah, no fever or whining today. Figured he deserves a day at the park after the night he had.” Nick answers. He turns to look at Grayson and when his eyes travel up to Harry’s face, he sees it’s overcome with curiosity. He knows he has some explaining to do later.

“You know what else he deserves?” Harry asks. He doesn’t give time for anyone to answer before he’s giving his own. “Ice cream!”

Nick doesn’t have time to protest because as soon as the words escape his mouth, Harry’s swiftly turning around and carrying Grayson towards the ice cream cart down the walkway. Nick can hear Harry singing to his son as they walk away, “I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!”

“Hey! Wait up! I’m starving!” Niall yells as he takes off across the grass to catch up to them.

“Don’t get the double fudge one, Niall!” Louis shouts at him, “Remember what happened last time?”

Niall’s only comeback is turning around and holding a middle finger up towards the sky as he aims a smirk directly at Louis that reads “fuck you.” 

Just then, the boy Nick now knows to be Zayn, the culprit in the football debacle, knocks his elbow into his friend’s ribs. “Hey Liam, got a smoke?”

Liam nods his head and tells Louis they’ll be back in a bit. Louis nods his head and his two friends walk away towards an empty bench under a bigger tree than the one Nick picked out.

“Well, that was considerate,” Nick says as he watches Zayn and Liam light up their cigarettes.

“What’s that?” Louis asks.

Nick points towards the two boys sucking nicotine into their lungs. “Those two going over there to smoke. Anyone else would just light up right here, wouldn’t they?”

“Probably, but Zayn has younger sisters and his mum threatens to kill him any time he tries to smoke around them or their things. Just a habit he’s picked up, I guess. To not smoke around little kids or their belongings.” Louis explains.

Nick turns his attention away from Zayn and Liam and puts it on Louis. “Like I said, considerate.”

Nick’s still tired and sees no point in standing around and waiting for Harry’s return, so he sits right back down in his spot against the tree. He looks up at Louis through his sunglasses and pats the ground next to him, inviting the other boy to join him under the shade. 

“Thought you had to work this afternoon?” Nick asks as Louis sits next to him. He remembers Louis telling him that before he left the night before.

“Yeah, but not until four. I have the early shift at the pub tonight so me and the lads decided to come out here and have a kick about. Didn’t plan on injuring any children, either, just so you know.” Louis chances a smile in Nick’s direction and finds Nick smiling back. 

“So. Who’s your friend?” He asks, nodding his head towards the cart where Harry, Grayson, and Niall are buying their ice cream.

“Oh, that’s Harry. He’s Grayson’s godfather.” Nick answers as he watches Harry try to balance Grayson and two ice cream cones while getting his wallet out of the pocket of his ridiculously tight jeans.

“You can tell he really loves him,” Louis says softly, a hint of admiration present in his voice. “And Grayson seems to love him, too.”

“Yeah, they’ve kind of been inseparable since the day Grayson was born. Harry’s sort of always been there through everything. And he’s great with Grayson.” Nick looks back towards Louis before he speaks again, “Thank you again. For last night. You really didn’t have to help me. Could have just came over and yelled at me like anyone else would have done.”

“Then I wouldn’t have gotten any sleep, would I? Besides, don’t think you give people enough credit. Think it’s what anyone with the smallest bit of compassion would have done. It was no big deal, really,” Louis says, brushing off the confession of gratitude, but Nick can see the faint blush on his cheeks that he’s trying to hide away.

He doesn’t say anything back to Louis. Instead, he just shakes his head because there’s really no fighting Louis on this, he’s coming to learn. It _is_ a big deal, though. It’s a huge deal, actually. Nick would probably be out searching for a new flat right now instead of spending the morning in the park if it hadn’t been for how Louis swooped in and saved him last night.

When Nick looks up in the direction of the ice cream cart, he sees Harry rushing towards him with Grayson in one hand and his phone in the other. “Hey Grimmy, I’m so sorry. I have to go. I just got a call from Ed. Apparently there’s some open studio time today and he thinks we can get the last bits of my EP recorded. I have to be there in, like, five minutes. I wish I could stay longer, but--”

“Just go, Harry.” Nick cuts him off. “Thanks for coming today. And don’t be such a stranger, Grayson misses you too much.”

“You know you can just call me up anytime and I’ll be there.” Harry says right before he gives Grayson a kiss on the cheek and hands him off to Nick.

“I know,” Nick says, adjusting Grayson to sit comfortably on his hip.

“Ed?” Niall asks as he licks at his ice cream cone, like he’s trying to place the name. His eyes light up a few seconds later. “Ed Sheeran?”

“Yeah, that’s the one. You know him or something?” Harry asks. 

A visible wave of excitement washes over Niall when he starts talking. “Ed’s a legend! Bought me guitar from him a few months ago. Love that guy, he’s amazing!” 

“There’s some extra room at the studio, you could come hang out? Would be nice to get a second opinion on my stuff, anyway.” Harry offers. Nick remembers getting to see Harry’s creative process first hand. He misses getting to experience that. But Harry still lets him listen to all the demos, the only difference is that now it’s done sitting in his living room with Grayson bopping along to the music on his lap.

Niall instantly jumps at the opportunity. “Would love to!” He turns towards Louis as he shoves the final bit of ice cream cone into his mouth, causing himself to have to talk with his mouth full. “Hey Lou, call me later, yeah? About the pub night?”

“Will do, Nialler,” Louis says as he embraces Niall in a huge hug. When they separate, Louis reaches his hand out towards Harry. “It was nice to meet you, Harry.”

Harry meets his hand halfway and they shake hands awkwardly, like they’re not used to doing this in a casual setting. “You too, Louis.”

“Say bye to Uncle Harry, Grayson!” Nick says as he helps his son wave his hand at Harry. At this stage, it’s less of a wave and more of a frantic movement of the wrist.

Harry wiggles his fingers right back at him, tickles his belly when he moves closer. “Bye Grayson!” He says and then he’s giving him a final kiss on the forehead.

Harry turns to Nick next, wraps his long arms around his friend and gives him a gentle squeeze. He usually squeezes Nick unnecessarily tight, but with Grayson in the middle of them, it’s better to keep it on the softer side. “See you soon, Nick,” he says right before giving him his own final kiss on the forehead, just like he did with Grayson.

Nick doesn’t miss the emphasis on _soon_. “Soon,” he repeats before he’s raising his free hand to wave to his friend. “Bye Harold.”

Once Harry and Niall are gone, Zayn and Liam return from their smoke break. They don’t stick around for very long, just long enough for proper introductions and then they’re both hurrying off for work.

“See you around, lads.” Louis says as he gives them each a hug.

Zayn stops himself before he turns to leave the park and looks Nick dead in the eyes. “Sorry about the football thing. I really didn’t mean to kick it that far over here.”

“Don’t worry about it. No one was hurt. I know it was an accident.” Nick assures him.

A look of relief washes over Zayn’s face and Nick is glad that he’s not going to beat himself up over this. It was just an accident, things happen, and no one was hurt. Nick tells them it was nice to meet them and then Zayn and Liam are walking down the path towards the park gates.

“So, what are you two doing the rest of the day?” Louis asks as he reaches out towards Grayson. Grayson grabs two of his fingers and wastes no time pulling them to his mouth. “Yeah, I’d definitely say he’s teething.”

Nick looks down at Grayson nibbling on Louis’ fingers. “Probably is. Need to go get some of those teething rings, I guess. But we don’t really have plans today, me and Grayson. We’ll probably just head home and make some lunch and then I’ll put him down for a nap. We should actually get going soon, ice cream isn’t really a proper lunch, is it?” 

Nick stands up and begins packing up their things. “Here, let me help,” he hears Louis say as he picks up a stuffed alligator. Nick doesn’t fight him on it, he’s still exhausted from his lack of sleep and the help is nice. Instead, he picks his son up and sets him in his seat.

After they’ve folded the blanket and packed the pram, Louis speaks up again, “Mind if I walk with you guys? I mean, we are going to the same place, only makes sense.”

“Only makes sense,” Nick repeats in agreement. He takes one final look around their spot to make sure they aren’t leaving anything behind. When he sees that they have everything they came with, he tells Grayson to say bye to the park.

The three of them set off down the path towards the park gates. Grayson makes babbling noises at a few dogs that are running around the park. Maybe he’ll get him a puppy when he’s older. Nick wonders if they’re less work than a child.

“Are puppies less work than a child?” Nick asks out loud. He thinks they have to be. No diapers, no crying, no constantly changing their clothes because they smashed peas all over their outfit in an act of protest.

Louis lets out a loud laugh. “Think it’s too late to send this one back and ask for a dog instead, Nick.”

Nick bumps into Louis’ side, throwing him off balance for a second before he finds his footing again. “I didn’t mean it like that. I meant when Grayson gets older. I think a dog would be good for him. Only seems fair seeing as he probably won’t have any more siblings around.”

“You never know what’s going to happen, Nick. Could end up with a house full of kids and a new crabby next door neighbor,” Louis says as he kicks at a few rocks on the sidewalk. He misses one and Nick notices the disappointed sound that escapes his mouth because of it.

“Maybe Mrs. Baker will just follow me around, remind me how much she disapproves of my lifestyle,” Nick jokes.

Louis keeps his eyes on his feet, watches himself put one foot in front of the other. “Wonder how she would feel to know there are two gay men living on the same floor as her.”

Nick turns his head to look at Louis, a bit surprised by the confession. It takes a few seconds for Louis’ eyes to find his, but when they do, they share a knowing smile. “We probably shouldn’t tell her. Don’t want to shave any more days off her life, she doesn’t have many left anyway.”

Friendly laughter erupts between them and even Grayson joins in from where he’s riding in his pram.

The rest of the walk back to their building is spent with Louis telling Nick about his friends that were at the park with him. Nick learns that Niall moved from Ireland a few years back to try his hand at music, but mostly plays open mic nights. Louis met him one night when Niall played at the pub that Louis worked at in uni and they instantly bonded. Louis tells him that he and Zayn grew up together and were roommates throughout university. “He’s an artist, but more like, street art type stuff? Doesn’t like to be confined to a canvas, you know?” Nick is a bit shocked to hear that Louis hated Liam when Zayn first introduced them. “He was just so serious, It drove me crazy. We didn’t really click until I got dumped by my long distance boyfriend and Liam was the only one out of my friends on campus that weekend. He bought me alcohol and got me drunk and then let me cry on his shoulder. He’s a good one, that Liam.”

“Well, Harry and Niall looked like they were getting along pretty well. Was surprised he asked him to tag along to the studio, Harry doesn’t really let just anyone listen to his demos.” Nick says as they enter the door to their building and head toward the lift.

Louis steps forward to press the button to call the lift. “Harry does seem like Niall’s type, actually.”

“Harry doesn’t really have a type, he just likes good people.”

The doors open in front of them and they step in. Louis presses the number 4 and leans back against the wall. “Niall is the best people I know.”

Nick stays silent, only replies with a smile and a nod. Harry deserves someone good, he thinks. It’s been too long since Harry’s been in a good, healthy relationship. Not that his relationships are completely unhealthy, just sort of fleeting. Nick’d like to see Harry with someone who’s committed to him. He believes if anyone deserves that type of relationship, it’s Harry.

The lift dings to let them know they’ve arrived safely to their floor and the doors open in front of them. Louis stretches out his hand to tell Nick to go first, so he does as he’s told and pushes Grayson’s pram into the hallway. Louis follows close behind.

“So, it was good to see you again, Nick,” Louis says as he pushes his hands into his jeans pockets, rocking back and forth on his heels.

“You too, Louis,” Nick responds. And then an idea pops into his head. “Hey, I know you said you had work later, but, if you’re not busy right now, maybe you could join us for lunch? I mean, it’ll really only be like, sandwiches and maybe some macaroni, but I still owe you from last night.”

“You don’t owe me anything,” Louis interrupts.

“I’m not going to stop trying to thank you until you accept my efforts. Afterall, you are the reason that anyone on this floor got any sort of sleep last night. So really, I’m just thanking you on behalf of the tenants in this building,” Nick says matter-of-factly. 

Louis looks down at the floor and shakes his head but Nick can see his lips turn up into a smile, a sign that he’s about to give in. “Well, I guess I could eat before I go to work. Don’t really think peanuts and pretzels is a proper meal, is it?”

“I mean, I’m no Gordon Ramsay, but Grayson never seems to complain.”

“Maybe that’s why he was so whiny last night,” Louis jokes.

Nick pushes the pram towards his door and Louis falls into step beside him. “Yeah, I’m sure that was it. The kid who sticks everything, and I mean _everything_ in his mouth is complaining about the food I’m giving him. That has to be it.”

“As long as you’re aware.”

Nick pulls his keys out of his pocket and unlocks the door before pushing it open with the front of Grayson’s pram. He tosses the keys on the shelf standing right next to the doorway and toes off his shoes. Louis does the same.

“I’m going to go start lunch, think you can keep him entertained in the living room for a few minutes? I mean, I don’t mind him in the kitchen with me, but last time he was in there, he threw one of his plastic animals into a pot of boiling water. Still not sure if I was more angry about the melting toy or more impressed with the arm he has on him,” Nick says as he picks Grayson up from where he’s seated in his pram.

“Should probably be more impressed with the arm on him.” Louis reaches his arms out and Nick hands over his son. “I’ll keep him entertained, don’t worry. Babies love me.”

As Nick heads into the kitchen, he can hear Louis asking Grayson what he wants to do while Daddy makes lunch.

Nick wastes no time making sandwiches as the macaroni cooks on the stove. After he drains the noodles and stirs in some cheese, he gets some applesauce and milk for Grayson. Nick grabs two larger bowls out of the cabinet before grabbing a smaller one for his son to hold their macaroni and cheese. He sets the table for three instead of two, which is a bit odd for Nick. It’s not something he’s done in awhile. It hits him, in that moment, just how much he misses having another adult around all the time. He’s so used to holding conversations with Grayson, it’s nice having someone who can express their thoughts and feelings through actual words.

He shakes the feeling off before walking into the living room to let Louis and Grayson know that lunch is ready. When he enters the room, he sees the two of them sitting in the middle of the floor, Grayson propped up by pillows on all sides of him. There’s a row of toy animals standing between them and Louis is going through them one by one, holding them up to Grayson, and making the matching sounds. Grayson can’t contain his laughter as Louis makes his way down the line.

He’s is in the middle of making a hippo sound (Nick had no idea what sound a hippo even made) when Nick speaks up from the doorway. “Lunch is ready.”

Louis isn’t the least bit embarrassed that he was just caught making animal sounds. Instead, he picks Grayson up from where he’s sitting and carries him into the kitchen. He sets him in his highchair and then takes a seat in one of the two regular sized chairs at the table.

“Didn’t know what you wanted to drink,” Nick says as he holds the refrigerator door open. He sweeps his eyes across it’s contents and let’s Louis know what he has to offer. “Got some water, milk, juice boxes, wine. That’s about it.”

“Water’s fine,” Louis says.

Nick grabs two bottles of water out of the fridge and walks over to take his place in the remaining chair at the table. He hands one bottle over to Louis and receives a nod of thanks in return. The three of them begin eating and Nick has to pause a few times to make sure Grayson doesn’t throw handfuls of applesauce on the floor.

Nick takes another bite of his sandwich, washes it down with some water and then looks up at Louis. “So, like I said. It’s not much, but it’s a free meal, so.”

“Can’t beat free,” Louis says between bites of macaroni and cheese. “Besides, I can never turn down macaroni and cheese, reminds me too much of me mum.”

Nick knows exactly what Louis means. It makes him a bit homesick.

They manage to finish their lunch without Grayson making too big of a mess on the floor. As Nick excuses himself from the table to clean his son, Louis begins clearing the table of dishes, carrying them to the sink to rinse them off.

Nick walks back into the kitchen after quickly changing Grayson into a clean outfit. “You don’t have to do that, you know. You’re a guest, I can do the cleaning.” 

Louis doesn’t stop what he’s doing, instead, he grabs the pan from the stove that Nick used to cook the macaroni in. “I know. But I have manners. And me mum taught me to always clean up after meals. So sit down and let me do it.” 

Nick picks a piece of macaroni out of Grayson’s hair. He’s still amazed at how messy his child can get just from eating. “Well, if you insist,” he says in Louis’ direction.

Once Louis finishes rinsing the dishes, he loads the dishwasher. “Soap?”

“Cabinet under the sink,” Nick informs him as he cradles Grayson against his chest. The child lets out a big yawn, obviously tired from the long night and day he’s had.

Louis adds in the soap and turns on the dishwasher. “All done!” 

“Thanks for that,” Nick says as they all walk into the living room. He gently sits on the couch, rearranging his son to sit in his lap. “Well, this one should probably get some sleep, he’s had a long morning.”

“Are you talking about Grayson or yourself?” Louis asks. There’s nothing in his voice to make Nick think he’s anything short of serious. “Let me rock him? You’re knackered. Lay down on the couch for a bit.”

“I don’t need sleep,” Nick proudly says. “You learn to go without it once you’re a parent.”

“Well, maybe one day you’ll learn to put your pride aside and accept help when it’s given to you. Seriously, lay down. I’ll take care of him.”

Before Nick can come up with a counterargument, Louis is taking Grayson out of his arms and carrying him towards his bedroom, shutting the door behind him. It’s quiet in the flat and Nick finds it easy to lay down on the couch and pull his legs up into his body. When he hears the faint sound of singing coming from Grayson’s room, he finds it even easier to close his eyes and drift off to sleep. 

Nick comes to about two hours later and finds himself in a bit of a daze. He rubs his eyes and blinks a few times as he looks around his flat. He glances towards the door and sees a single pair of shoes, his worn out black boots. Louis must have left after getting Grayson to sleep. When he stands up and stretches his back, he notices a small piece of paper on the coffee table.

He grabs it and brings it closer to his face to read it. 

_Didn’t want to wake you up, I know how precious sleep is to you these days._

Underneath Louis’ scrawl is his phone number. Nick grabs his phone from the table next to the couch and saves Louis’ number to his contacts.

He walks to Grayson’s bedroom and finds him awake in his crib, chewing on a corner of his blanket. “Look who’s awake,” Nick sings. “Hey buddy, have a good nap?” Grayson kicks his feet and continues chewing on his blanket. “Daddy had a good nap, too.”

Nick spends the rest of the afternoon and evening trying to get Grayson to say proper words. The most he gets out of them is “dadada”. Close enough for now, he decides.

\-----

Friday night, Gillian shows up at Nick’s doorstep. He barely has time to say hello after answering the door before she’s shoving past him and telling him he’s going out that night.

“What are you talking about?” Nick asks, eyebrows furrowed together in confusion as he shuts the door. He hasn’t made any plans for tonight, this is brand new news for him.

Gillian picks up his leather jacket from where it’s lying on the back of the couch and throws it in his direction. He manages to catch it before it hits him in the face. “I mean exactly what I said. You’re going out tonight. As in, away from this flat and all parental duties. Haz is going to be here any minute. You’re having a proper lads night. I’m watching the munchkin.”

Sure enough, by the time Gillian is done talking, Harry is letting himself into Nick’s flat.

“Have you forgotten how to knock? Didn’t your mum teach you manners as a child?” Nick asks as Harry walks into the living room.

“Oh shut it Nicholas. I stopped knocking on your door since we became friends. I mean, sure I’ve seen you in some extremely compromising positions because of it, but I figured I was safe from that tonight.” He kisses Gillian on the cheek and then turns to face Nick. “You ready?”

“Umm.” Nick racks his brain trying to come up with some excuse as to why he can’t go out tonight. But in the end, he knows he has no choice in the matter. “Sure. Yeah. Just let me say bye to Grayson.”

Nick walks over to where Grayson is watching cartoons and kisses the top of his head. “Daddy’s gonna go out with Uncle Harry for a bit, buddy. Aunt Gelz is going to stay with you. Don’t get into too much trouble, okay?”

As he stands up from where he was crouched down next to his son, he hears Harry say in a stage whisper, “ _Don’t get into too much trouble. He does know this is his kid he’s talking about here, right?_ ”

Gillian laughs at that before Nick is defending himself. “Hey, I heard that! I’ve never been trouble.” She laughs even louder at that and Harry joins in. Nick crosses his arms in front of his chest and sticks his bottom lip, pouting just like his son does when he doesn’t get his way. “Okay, not _that_ much trouble.” 

The two of them are almost doubled over with laughter when Nick stops talking.

He feigns offense until Gillian comes to his side, placing her arm across his upper back, hand resting on his shoulder. “You two have fun,” she says as she pushes him closer to the door. “And don’t worry about him, Grim. Go have fun. Have a few drinks. Snog a stranger. Relive your old days.”

“She’s basically saying be like me for a night,” Harry says proudly.

Nick throws his head back, letting out a defeated groan. “Oh god, what am I getting myself into?”

Harry chuckles and pats him on the back as he pulls him into the hallway, turning to walk towards the lift. Gillian closes the door behind them after giving a final wave and Nick knows that there’s no turning back.

Maybe he’s just gotten comfortable with where he is. He hasn’t really missed drunken pub nights like he did in the months right after Grayson was born. Back then, he was envious of his friends who went out nightly, getting drunk off cheap booze and then stumbling home with someone they picked up at the bar. 

But all the time spent at home, watching his beautiful boy grow up right in front of him, made up for everything he was missing out on. Eventually he arrived at a point where he preferred to spend the evenings with Grayson, dancing around his flat with his son in his arms, sharing juice boxes as they watched the same Disney movie over and over again. 

Instead of constantly wondering what club his friends are trying to weasel their way into, he’s perfectly content to put Grayson to bed and call it an early night for himself as well.

But he has to admit, a night away from all the responsibilities will be nice. He can’t help but feel a bit guilty, though. Thinks maybe a little bit of alcohol running through his bloodstream will help settle that feeling.

The cab they had called to pick them up from Nick’s building drops them off in front of the pub that they used to frequent before Grayson was born. As soon as they walk in, they’re fighting their way through a crowd to find an open table. Nick doesn’t remember it ever being this crowded, thinks it must be one of the many things that’s changed since he stopped going out.

Nick’s just about given up on finding a place to sit when he hears someone calling his name from behind him. He spins around, searching for the person the voice belongs to, and his eyes fall on Louis sitting at a booth with Niall. They both start waving to Nick when he spots them.

“Over here, mates,” Niall calls, gesturing for Nick and Harry to join them at their booth. “We’ll make room for ya!”

Harry’s still scanning the room for an open table, oblivious to the fact that Nick’s found them a place to sit, so he reaches out and grabs his arm to get his attention. “Over here.” Nick points towards Louis’ booth with his free hand.

Harry’s eyes follow the line of where Nick’s finger is pointed and land on the booth. His face immediately lights up when he sees who’s sitting there. “Niall!” he shouts as he pushes through the crowd to get to the booth. Nick grabs onto the back of his shirt, following close behind him.

“Hiya guys!” Harry greets the two of them after taking the open seat next to Niall. Nick notices a tinge of pink wash over Harry’s cheeks. He doesn’t say anything about it, doesn’t want to embarrass Harry in front of Niall just yet. Instead, he catalogues it in his mind for the future.

Nick slides in next to Louis, leans his head against the back of the booth and angles his head to look the boy next to him. “Hi.”

“Get a break from dad duties?” Louis asks before taking a small sip from his beer.

Nick nods his head in affirmation. “My friend Gillian is watching him tonight. She pretty much forced me out of the house. She even involved innocent little Harry in this scheme. Guess she thinks I need a break.”

Louis flags down the server and orders a round of shots. “She’s right. And you’ve come to the perfect spot! First round’s on me!” The announcement earns an excited cheer from Niall.

The shots arrive and Louis passes them out. They all raise their glasses to toast to Nick’s night of freedom from his life as a parent. Nick downs the shot and his face immediately scrunches up. It’s been so long since he’s done shots that he’s forgotten how much they burn going down.

Louis laughs and gives him a strong pat on the back. “Don’t worry, once you get a few of these in ya, you won’t care about the taste.”

“Just how drunk are you planning on getting me, Louis?” 

“Drunk enough that you don’t get on your mobile every five seconds to check on Grayson.” Louis’ raising an eyebrow, flicking his eyes down to where Nick’s just started to pull his phone out of his pocket. 

He stops himself from pulling it out the rest of the way, slides it back into his pocket instead. “Probably gonna need a few more then.” He doesn’t miss the look of satisfaction that takes over Louis’ face.

They order a round of beers and Harry informs Nick that he isn’t letting him pay. When Nick tries to argue, Harry just raises his hand, tells him that this is a celebration of sorts and he’s not allowed to spend anything. “Besides, you have a baby to take care of. Shouldn’t be spending all your money on booze.” 

Nick begrudgingly accepts defeat. The thing is, he isn’t used to having people take care of him. Not since he’s had Grayson. It’s an odd feeling that makes him a little uncomfortable, even if it is Harry that’s doing this for him. 

Nick nurses his beer as conversation flits in the air around him. Harry and Niall are discussing visiting the studio after they left the park and Louis chimes to say something about an open mic night at his pub that he thinks Harry should sign up for. Nick’s attention is focused on the beer in front of him, watching the condensation run down the side of the bottle until it hits where his fingers are splayed out across it. His attention isn’t wholly brought back to the conversation at the booth until Niall is addressing him directly.

“What’s that?” Nick asks as he’s snapped out of his haze. He really does feel bad that he didn’t catch Niall’s question the first time he put it out there. His mind keeps going back to Grayson and how he should be at home with him, doing his duties as his father. He chances a look in Harry’s direction and sees him frowning. Nick forgot that Harry can read him like an open book, has always been able to no matter how hard he tries to stay closed. 

_He’ll be okay_ , Harry mouths to Nick. And Nick knows he will be, knows Gillian will take great care of him. He just feels a bit guilty, is all.

He downs another drink of his beer as Niall asks again. “I said what do you do? Like, job wise?”

“Umm, right now I’m just doing the dad thing. That’s kind of been my number one priority since I’ve had Grayson. Before that I dabbled a bit in radio, the production side of it. I figure when my savings run dry, I’ll figure the job thing out,” Nick tells him. 

Making the decision to quit his radio job was hard for Nick, it had always been his dream. But when Grayson came along, it was kind of a no brainer. He knew that this baby was relying on him for everything, that he was the only person Grayson had, and Nick needed to fully devote his time and attention to his son. So when he told his boss that he had to quit, she was pretty understanding. Told him that if he ever wanted to get back into it, he had her contact information.

Luckily, his parents had set up a savings account for him when he was young, putting money in it to help him get through university. Except, university didn’t quite work out for Nick. After one year, which he only did to appease his father, he dropped out and sought out a job in radio. His father wasn’t pleased, but came around when he saw how happy Nick was when he landed the job at the station. The money his parents saved for his university tuition sat in his savings account, untouched, until Grayson was born. He had always felt guilty tapping into it for something other than its intended purpose. 

When he decided to stop working and become a full time father, his parents came to him and told him that since he wasn’t going back to university, he needed to use the money to take care of Grayson. And that’s what he’s done since Grayson’s been alive. 

For now, it’s working for him. When it stops working, he figures he’ll give his old boss a call.

“You’re doing a great job,” Louis says just loud enough for Nick to hear over the noise of the crowd that surrounds them. 

“I’m trying.” And that’s probably the most honest thing he’s admitted out loud. 

Their side conversation is interrupted by Harry passing out a round of vodka shots. “Bottoms up, lads!” he says as he raises his shot.

“You do remember what happened last time I did vodka shots, right Haz?” Nick raises an eyebrow in Harry’s direction.

Harry chuckles at the memory. “You mean when you disappeared into Gillian’s room for half an hour and emerged wearing her knee high stilettos and mini skirt? How could I forget that?”

Nick reaches over to tug at a curl on Harry’s head hard enough it causes him to wince. “We agreed that would never be talked about out loud again, traitor.”

“What can I say? Get a little alcohol in me and I suddenly have no filter,” Harry says right before downing his shot.

“I hate you,” Nick says as he raises his own shot to his lips. He downs the alcohol in one go and it doesn’t burn nearly as much as it travels down his throat as the first one did.

“We’ve all been there, Nick. Don’t worry about it,” Niall says, pushing his empty shot glass to the middle of the table, letting it join the impressively sized group of glasses that continues to grow. It makes Nick wonder how long Louis and Niall had been there before he and Harry arrived.

An offended noise comes from Louis’ direction. “Speak for yourself, Niall.”

“Oh yeah, that’s right, Tommo. You just lose all your clothes.” Niall receives a flick in the head from Louis for that.

Nick can’t help but laugh, “Sounds like dear Harold over here. Except you don’t have to get any alcohol in him. He’s a free spirit, this one.”

“I just don’t like to be constricted by clothing.” Harry shrugs before excusing himself to the toilet. 

When he gets back, he’s carrying four rum and cokes in his arms.

The night goes on with a few more drinks. When they walk out of the pub, none of them are wasted, but they’re drunk enough that they can’t quite walk in a straight line. Harry pulls out his mobile and calls the cab company to get the two of them a ride home. 

After he hangs up and puts it back in his pocket, Nick speaks up. “Shit, Harry, I completely forgot. I have an appointment tomorrow with my doctor, think you could watch Grayson for a few hours around noon?”

A look of guilt falls on Harry’s face, “I wish I could, Nick. I really do. But I have a meeting tomorrow about my EP. Do you have anyone else?”

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll find someone else,” Nick says, trying to brush it off so Harry doesn’t feel bad.

Just then, Louis appears at Harry’s side. “I could watch him. I don’t have work tomorrow so I’m free all day. What time do you need me?”

Nick shakes his head, “Louis, I can’t ask you to give up your Saturday to babysit.”

“Well, it’s a good thing you’re not asking,” Louis says, “I’m offering. And you’re accepting. I’ll be there at eleven.”

“He’ll see you then,” Harry says for Nick as he pats Louis on the shoulder.

Before Nick has time to try another argument, a black cab is pulling up to the curb. “This is us,” Harry informs him. They say their goodbyes and climb into the cab. Nick lets his head fall back against the back of the seat and pulls his phone out of his pocket, hoping that there’s something waiting for him about his son so he doesn’t look like the worrying father who can’t spend a night away without checking up on him. 

He breathes a sigh of relief when he sees he has a picture message from Gillian. He opens it and sees Grayson, peacefully asleep in his crib, stuffed dinosaur under his right arm. 

_little man is out! see you when you get home grim!_

It makes Nick feel a little less guilty about going out tonight.

\-----

The next morning, Nick wakes up with a slight headache. It’s nothing a bit of paracetamol won’t take care of, but it’s a reminder of his days before Grayson when hangovers and cute strangers were a common thing to wake up with.

He treads lightly to the bathroom so to not wake Grayson up. He’s not sure what he and Gillian got up to last night, but he must have been exhausted if he’s still sleeping at eight in the morning. Nick takes a quick shower and brushes his teeth before walking back into the hallway. He finally hears some stirring coming from Grayson’s room so he decides it’s time to get him and make some breakfast.

After they eat breakfast, he puts Grayson in his walker and lets him pad around the living room for a bit while Nick tries to make his flat presentable for Louis. Not that it was in the best shape the first night Louis was in the flat, but that night was different. That night, Nick was having a crisis and wasn’t expecting Louis to come to his rescue. Today, Nick is prepared for Louis, and he’s going to prepare his flat as well.

At 10:50, there’s a knock at Nick’s door. He takes a quick surveying look around his flat. There are no more dirty dishes or clothes lying around and Grayson’s toys, for the most part, are piled in his toy bin in the corner of the living room. It’s as good as it’s going to get, he decides.

Nick opens the door and Louis is standing on the other side, looking fresh faced and well rested. “No hangover, then?” Nick asks.

“Mate, when you spend as much time around a pub as I do, you learn how to deal with hangovers. Besides, after spending so much time with Niall, I’ve become pretty good at holding my alcohol.” Louis steps inside the flat after Nick moves out of the way. He searches the flat for a few seconds before turning towards Nick. “So, where’s the little one?”

“He’s in his room taking a nap. Should be out for another twenty minutes or so. There’s some stuff to drink and eat in the fridge. You’re welcome to anything in there. Except, it might not be too nice to eat Grayson’s food, seeing as he is just a baby and can’t stop you.” Nick smirks at him and Louis gives him one right back.

“Okay, got it. No baby food for me, only for Grayson. Pretty easy rules to remember. Anything else?”

Nick starts to slip on his old, worn out boots as he continues talking. “Umm, after he wakes up from nap he usually likes to have some milk. Sippy cups are in the cabinet above the sink. Don’t give him too much though or it’ll make him sick. If he gets fussy, his favourite dinosaur is in his crib. It’s the blue one, not the red one. List of doctors’ names and numbers on hanging on the fridge. I wrote mine down for you, it’s on the coffee table and Harry’s is on there too. If you need anything, don’t be afraid to call. Don’t let him watch too much television, that’s not too good for him. And he likes--”

He’s cut off by Louis waving his hands in front of his face. “Nick! Breathe! I got it. He’ll be okay. I mean, you trusted me to watch him that first night, right? We’ll be fine. If there’s an emergency, I’ll call you. But don’t worry. Go run your errands. He’ll be here when you get back, in one piece just like you left him. I promise. I’m not going to let anything bad happen to him.”

Louis practically shoves him out the door, which Nick will admit is probably the only way to get him to leave at this point. “Just. If you need anything. Call me?” Nick calls from his spot in the middle of the hall.

“I will. Now go or you’ll be late.” And with that, Louis closes the door behind Nick. 

It takes a few seconds, but he takes a deep breath and walks away from his flat towards the lift. _It’s Louis. He’ll be okay._ Nick keeps telling himself.

Nick arrives back at his flat about four hours later. His first stop of the day was the doctor. As he was sitting in the waiting room, he got a message from Louis. When he opened it, he was met with a picture of Louis and Grayson, both drinking their respective cups of milk. _Look who’s awake!_ was written under the picture. Nick was left smiling as he pocketed his phone.

About a half hour after the first message, he received a second one. This one was a video of Grayson dancing in his walker to one of Harry’s songs. _Think we found Harry’s biggest fan!_

Nick’s phone went off in his pocket every thirty minutes with an update from Louis. From the looks of it, he had the babysitting situation under control, and Nick felt more at ease as he ran his errands. The last place he stopped off at was the frozen yogurt shop down the street to get the three of them a treat. He figured that even if Louis didn’t want to stay and eat it with them, he could at least take it back to his own flat.

Nick gets home just a few hours later, pulls his keys out of his pocket and slides them into the keyhole. When he turns the knob and opens the door, he’s met with the sound of Grayson giggling. He sometimes wishes he could bottle up that sound and carry it around with him, open it up whenever he needs to be cheered up.

He looks in the direction of the noise and sees his son sitting in his walker, giggling so much that he’s practically squealing. When he sees Louis, he’s on all fours, crouching behind Grayson’s back. Then, he suddenly pops out on Grayson’s left side with a “boo!” and the giggling and squealing starts up again. He then goes back to hiding behind Grayson’s back before popping out on his right side with another “boo!”

It continues a few more rounds until Louis finally looks up and finds Nick standing a few feet away from him. He puts his head next to Grayson’s and points towards Nick, “Look who’s back, Grayson!” 

“Hi buddy!” Nick says as he makes his way to his son, lifting him out of his walker and perching him on his hip. He plants a kiss right on the side of Grayson’s head before looking down at where Louis is sitting cross legged on the carpet. “Did you have fun with Louis?”

Grayson responds by babbling nonsense and flailing his limbs. A smile is stretched on his face from ear to ear and Nick can see one of his front teeth starting to poke through his gums.

“Did you get my messages?” Louis asks from where he’s seated on the carpet.

Nick is tickling Grayson’s tummy when he answers. “Yeah. Thanks for those, by the way.”

“No big deal,” Louis says as he stands up, stretching his legs in the process. “Thought they would help ease your mind about the whole babysitting thing.”

Nick doesn’t verbally reply, just gives Louis an appreciative smile. He hopes Louis knows the meaning behind it, that he’s more appreciative than words can begin to describe or his pride will let him admit.

Louis sends him the same sort of smile right back and Nick thinks he might get it.

“If you don’t have to get back home right away, I stopped by the frozen yogurt shop on the way home. There’s three bowls in there, so.” Nick turns towards where the bag is sitting on the table next to the door.

“It depends,” Louis says, “did you get chocolate?”

“Is there any other kind?” Nick asks as he grabs the bag. 

The three of them go into the kitchen to eat their frozen yogurt. Nick has to help Grayson eat it because he foresees one of two things happening: 1) Grayson will make a huge mess with it, getting it all over the floor, his clothes, and his hair or 2) He’ll eat it so fast he’ll get a brain freeze. 

It turns out that Nick should have been more worried about Louis when it came to the second option, because Louis eats his so fast he gets a brain freeze and has to stop eating so he can press his palms to the sides of his head to will it away. 

Since Nick spends so much time feeding Grayson, by the time he gets to his own frozen yogurt, it’s melted. He happily eats it anyway.

While he waits for Nick to finish, Louis sits and draws in the melted yogurt left in the bottom of his bowl with his spoon. Grayson spends the time trying to stick his tongue out far enough to lick the chocolate off his cheek. 

When Nick reaches the bottom of his bowl, he picks up all trash and throws it in the bin. As he washes his hands, Louis stands up from his seat. “Well, I have to run to the supermarket if I’m going to eat tonight, Niall’s eaten all of me food.”

“Come to think of it,” Nick says from where he’s leaning against the counter, drying his hands, “that’s one errand I forgot to run. How about you come with us and then you can join us for dinner. It’s the least I can do after you babysat today.”

“Nick, how many times do I have to tell you? You don’t owe me anything. You act like watching this one is such a hardship.”

Nick pushes himself off the counter and walks back to the table. “I know you keep telling me that, but you took time out of your day to help me when you didn’t have to. Just let me do this. Please?”

Louis runs his hand through his hair, pushing it off of his face before adjusting his fringe so it sits just right. “Fine. You can cook me dinner. But only if I get to help! I’m not letting you do all the work!”

“Deal!” Nick raises his arm in front of him, hand directed at Louis, waiting for a handshake.

Louis meets his hand in the middle, and they shake on it. “Deal.”

“Just let me get this one cleaned up and we’ll be all ready to go!” Nick picks Grayson up out of his chair and carries him off towards the bathroom to clean up his face. When he walks back into the living room, Louis is sat on the couch, pen and paper in hand, scribbling away. “What’re you doing?”

Louis jumps a bit in surprise. “Oh, making a shopping list. Mum always told me to do this so I didn’t forget things or buy stuff I don’t need. Something about how it’ll help me to budget my money. You know, typical mum advice. Not sure it’s ever worked as it should though. Seeing as I always end up forgetting something and I always end up with like five packs of biscuits and nothing with actual substance in my cupboards when I’m done.”

Nick peeks over Louis’ shoulder at his list. “You know you have like, three types of beer on there, right? Not that I know anything about your mum, but that doesn’t seem like something a mum’d advise you to put on your list.”

“Those are for Niall,” Louis explains. “It’s easier to just buy it for him myself than listen to him complain that I don’t have any whenever he comes by. Although, you’d think as long as we’ve been friends that he would know to bring his own. Could just be that he’s a cheap bastard.” He ends the thought with a shrug, obviously not bothered by the thought.

“Well, we’re ready,” Nick declares as he puts Grayson in his pram. “You?”

“Ready!” Louis answers as he stands up from his spot on the couch, following the two Grimshaws out of their flat.

They decide to take Nick’s car to the supermarket since Grayson’s car seat is already hooked up in the backseat. As Nick is getting Grayson situated in car, Louis takes it upon himself to fold up his pram and put it in the boot. When his son is safely buckled up, he climbs into the driver side just as Louis is strapping on his seatbelt.

Before Nick has even pressed down on the accelerator, Louis is reaching over to fumble with the knobs on the radio. “Mate, you really need to get some better taste in tunes. That sounded like a cat dying.”

“Well, I’m so sorry. Didn’t know I had a diva in my car with me.” Nick says, putting his car in drive and pulling out into the street.

“Me? Diva? Nah,” Louis says as he lands on a station he finds to be satisfactory. “But Beyonce,” he points to the radio as the beginning notes to “Single Ladies” starts to play, “is the ultimate one and you can’t pass her music up.”

Louis starts singing along to the song as Nick drives down the road, reenacting the dance moves from the music video and all. Nick joins in on the choruses and Grayson is bopping along from where he’s sitting in the backseat.

“See? Everyone’s a fan of Beyonce,” Louis says, turning down the volume after the song has ended.

Nick smiles before replying. “Think it’s a rule, innit? One of the ten commandments or something? Thou shalt love Beyonce?”

“Yeah, sounds about right,” Louis laughs from the passenger seat.

They’re about halfway to the shop when Louis comments on Nick’s driving. “You do realize that you’re not even going to the speed limit, right? Like, I’m pretty sure an eighty year old lady just passed us.”

“Well, that eighty year old lady didn’t have precious cargo in her car, did she?” Nick shoots back.

“Seeing as I’m in your car, and not hers, I’d say no.”

When Nick looks over to the passenger seat, Louis has a smug smile on his face. “You’re such a little shit, did you know that?”

“Hey! Language! Watch it! There are innocent ears in this vehicle!” Louis says, feigning offense.

Nick focuses his eyes back on the road in front of him. “He’s heard worse, trust me.”

“Well yeah, you probably torture him with whatever that is that you call music that you were listening to before. That’s much worse.”

They pull into the car park and luck must be on Nick’s side because he ends up finding a spot close to the doors so they won’t have too long of a walk. As Nick gets Grayson out of his carseat and shuts the door, he turns around to find Louis standing in front of him with a trolley. After he gets Grayson settled in the seat, they walk into the shop.

“Don’t you need your own?” Nick asks, pointing towards the line of trolleys inside the store.

Louis grabs a shopping basket from the stack next to the entrance. “Don’t really need one when it’s just me, basket usually does it,” he tells Nick.

“Ahh, but you have to get Niall’s beer. Don’t forget.” Nick reminds him as he steers the trolley towards the produce section.

Louis picks up a few oranges and tosses them into his basket. “I’ll just put it on the bottom of yours then, won’t I?” 

Nick loads his trolley with various types of fruit. Apples, oranges, grapes, strawberries. It’s a habit he picked up from Harry long ago, the fruit. He was never big on it until Harry insisted he add more of it to his diet. Now, he eats it all the time, cuts it into small cubes so Grayson can eat it with him.

After picking out some vegetables, the three of them make their way through the rest of the shop. When they get to the biscuit aisle, Louis tosses about three different kinds into his basket. Grayson keeps reaching out to the different packages on the shelf but Nick ignores him, throwing healthy alternatives into the trolley instead. When he isn’t looking, Louis picks up a box that Grayson seems particularly interested in and throws it in with the rest of Nick’s food.

Apparently, he isn’t sneaky enough. Nick hears the noise and instantly turns around and spots the biscuits sitting on top of the other food. He picks them up and holds them in front of Louis. “He can’t eat these, Louis. Do you know how much sugar is in these things?”

Louis takes the box from Nick’s hands and puts it in his own basket. “Yes I do. Because I eat them every day.” 

“Of course you do,” Nick says, pushing his cart to the cereal aisle, the other boy trailing close behind.

“So what’s on the menu tonight?” Louis asks, grabbing a box of chocolate cereal from the shelf. “Four course meal, I assume?”

Nick thinks it over before answering. He needs something easy and quick to cook, doesn’t have time for anything extravagant since he’s watching his money and has a child to tend to. “How does pasta sound?”

“Not exactly a four course meal.” Louis pauses, placing his hand on his chin, scratching it as he thinks it over in his head. “Make it fettuccine and I’m in,” he proclaims.

Nick puts a box of cereal in his trolley before telling Louis that he has a deal.

They make their way through the rest of the shop and Nick only has to put back a few other items that Louis tries to sneak into the trolley for Grayson. 

“Louis, he’s a small child, he doesn’t like shrimp.”

“You don’t know that. Has he ever tried it? He could like it!”

“I swear, I thought I only brought _one_ small child to the shop with me.”

“Hey! I prefer the term ‘young at heart’.”

They pick out the rest of their food, make a final stop in the alcohol aisle for Louis to pick out some beer for Niall, and then make their way to the front of the shop to pay. Nick’s trolley is full and Louis’ basket is overflowing. There’s a short line in front of them, nothing too long, but enough to be annoying when the lady in front of them asks for a price check on at least five items that she swore were on sale. 

After they finally get their items rung up and paid for, they leave the shop and load their bags into the boot of Nick’s car before heading back to their building. 

As the three of them enter their building, Louis makes a quick pitstop at his place to put his groceries away before heading to Nick’s for dinner. He knocks on the door and Nick shouts at him to come on in and make himself at home. Louis does as he’s told and sees Grayson sitting in his chair in the kitchen eating a few slices of orange while Nick puts the rest of the food in its proper place.

“So, I was thinking about it,” Louis says, leaning against the archway leading to the kitchen. 

Nick closes the refrigerator and turns to face him, “Thinking about what?”

“Dinner,” Louis clarifies. “I’ve been thinking about it and you’re not cooking me dinner.”

Nick immediately feels disappointed. His smile falls into a frown and he’s confused as to why Louis would cancel on him this close to dinner time. “I’m not?”

Louis shakes his head, taking a step into the kitchen. “You’re not. We’re both cooking.”

Nick cocks an eyebrow at that, feeling amused at what the other boy just claimed would be the plan for tonight. “Do you even know how to cook? I mean, no offense, but I saw what you just bought at the shop. The most cooking any of that food requires is a microwave.”

Louis’ hand flies up and lands over his heart, a look of offense washes over his face. “You wound me, Nick.” When he earns a laugh out of Nick, He drops the act and continues speaking, “I just live the bachelor lifestyle. Why cook a big meal when it’s just myself that’s eating it? Seems wasteful, doesn’t it?”

And, okay. Yeah, that actually makes sense. “Well, okay then. You can help me cook.”

Louis perches himself on top of the countertop and watches as Nick puts the rest of the groceries away. “You know, I always used to help me mum cook when I lived at home,” Louis says as Nick puts the boxes of cereal in the pantry. He grabs the jar of peanut butter out of the paper bag sitting next to him on the counter and hands it over to be put away. “She worked long shifts at the hospital and was always tired when she got home, so when I got old enough, I started to help out. You know, to lighten some of her workload at home. Then it kind of became our thing, cooking. I haven’t done it in a while. Not since Easter, actually. It’ll be nice to do it again.”

After Nick puts the last bag of food away, he turns to focus all of his attention on Louis. “That was really nice of you. To help her like that. Don’t think many kids would do that for their parents.”

Louis shrugs his shoulders and looks in Grayson’s direction. “Yeah, but when you only have one parent who devotes all their time and energy to you, you learn to give back when you can.” 

A silence falls over them for a few moments as they both watch Grayson. He’s sitting in his chair, smashing the remaining pieces of orange in front of him with the palms of his hands. When he looks up to find both men watching him, he raises both hands, shaking them in front of his face so the extra orange bits fall away as he lets out a noise of pure glee. 

Louis turns back to face Nick before hopping down from the counter. “So, pasta time!”

Nick doesn’t move as Louis walks past him to the cabinet to search for pans. He finds himself flicking his eyes between Grayson and Louis, comparing their circumstances to each other. He’s always been worried about how his son would do having only one parent in his life, nervous over how good of a parenting job he’ll do. Nick can only hope that he raises Grayson to be as considerate as Louis.

“They’re in the cabinet by your right leg,” Nick says as Louis opens and closes the cabinets above his head, searching for the pots and pans.

Louis moves to open the cabinet and pulls out the pans that they’ll need to make their pasta. Nick goes to the other end of the counter, pulls out a few large spoons from a drawer and a colander from a cabinet above his head and sets them next to the stove. They work together to cook the pasta, only bumping into each other a few times in the process. It doesn’t take long until they’re moving around each other with ease, completely in sync with one another. 

They both keep an eye on Grayson as they cook, making sure he’s still content to sit there and watch. 

When they’re done, Nick lets Louis have the first taste. “Pretty good,” Louis decides as he chews the pasta. “Think it may need more salt though?” He grabs the salt shaker from it’s spot on the counter, shakes it a few times over the pasta and then takes another bite. “Perfect.”

Nick takes a bite and he’s actually surprised at how good it turned out. He pulls two plates out of the cabinet along with a bowl for Grayson and takes them to the table while Louis carries the pan of pasta. He goes back to the refrigerator to get his son a juice box, picking up an apple juice before poking his head out from behind the door to ask Louis what he wants.

Louis looks up from where he’s cutting Grayson’s pasta into smaller pieces so it’s easier for him to eat. “Got any more of that wine?”

“Haven’t touched it since we opened it,” Nick tells him as he pulls it out of the fridge. He grabs two wine glasses from the cabinet and then joins the two of them at the table. Grayson and Louis already have their pasta, so he hands Louis the bottle to pour so his hands are free to get his food.

The three of them sit and eat and conversation comes easy. It’s mostly Nick telling stories about Grayson and Louis telling stories about his family back home. Louis tells him all about his siblings, how close he is with his mum, and how happy he is that she’s found a guy that makes her happy and loves the girls like they’re his own. “I was always scared that she wouldn’t find that. But he’s great. Makes her really happy and the girls all love him.”

At one point during conversation, Louis reaches out to grab his glass of wine, raising it to his lips and taking a sip. Out of the corner of his eye, he catches Grayson making grabby hands at the glass and smacking his lips together. 

“Sorry buddy, this isn’t for you,” Louis says, setting his glass back on the table. He huffs out a laugh at the thought of Grayson so desperately wanting his wine. “Guess it does look like grape juice though.”

Grayson’s mouth turns down into a pout at the denial and when Louis sees his bottom lip wobble, he immediately turns to Nick in fear. It only takes a few seconds for Louis to come up with a solution, though. He picks up a piece of pasta with his fingers and places one end of it in his mouth. When Grayson’s watching, he slurps the pasta into his mouth in one go, crossing his eyes in the process. Grayson’s pout suddenly disappears and a smile takes its place as he starts to clap his hands at Louis’ antics.

“You’re teaching him amazing table manners, Louis. Please continue,” Nick says in a dry tone from across the table. When Louis looks up and meets his eyes, Nick winks at him to assure him that he was joking. He makes a vague gesture, letting the boy know it’s okay to continue.

Louis keeps slurping his pasta to keep the smile on Grayson’s face, his own eyes crinkling from the smile that grows wider every time the child claps and giggles in response. When it seems safe, he picks up his fork from his plate and uses it to scoop up some of Grayson’s pasta. Grayson immediately opens his mouth to take the food. 

There’s a loud knock on the door and all three of their heads turn to look at it. Nick isn’t expecting company, and it’s odd for anyone to stop by without calling first. “Stay here and make sure he eats some more. I’ll get it,” he says as he wipes off his mouth with his napkin.

He walks to the front door and when he opens it, Harry’s standing in the hallway. He practically shoves Nick out of the way to enter the flat.

“Erm, Haz? You okay? Not that I don’t love when you drop by but you seem a bit on edge?” Nick asks from the doorway.

“No. I mean, yeah. I mean. I don’t know? I mean. I’m freaking out, Nick!” Harry’s pulling at his hair, won’t stand still so he turns around towards the kitchen and sees Louis sitting there feeding Grayson. His tone changes instantaneously. “Oh god, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you had company. This can wait, I’ll just go.” He barely gives himself time to breathe as he rushes to get all the words out of his mouth.

Nick has closed the door and he’s making his way to Harry when he speaks. “Don’t be stupid, Harry. You’re staying and you’re telling me what’s up. What’s got you so freaked out?”

Harry’s gaze goes from Nick, back to Louis, and then back to Nick again. He has a look on his face that’s telling Nick he’s trying to put the pieces together, trying to make sense of what’s happening in this flat. Like there’s something going on that he’s missing and he’s trying to get to the bottom of it. 

He’s snapped out of it when Nick puts his hand on his shoulder and shakes him a little bit. “Harry! What’s going on? You’re starting to worry me.”

“Oh, sorry. Okay, so I was at the studio with Ed. And we’ve just finished the EP so we were just listening back to it, right? Final listen through and all that, to see if I still loved the songs and if they were still worth putting out there. So, this guy comes in during the middle of one of the songs and he was like, wearing a proper suit? Looked really important and apparently he knew Ed. Anyway, he asked what we were listening to and Ed told him it was my EP and all of the sudden he got really interested. Like, started asking me about my music and if I wrote my own songs and everything. So, after a bit of talking, he told me there’s this showcase coming up at this club, and he wants me to play it. Says if I do good, it could lead to something big.” He runs his fingers through his hair, brushing it off his face before he speaks again. “This could be it, Nick! This could be my big break! I could get signed after this. This is what I’ve been working towards and now it might actually happen?”

“Holy shit, Harry. That’s great.” Nick pulls Harry into a hug, maybe squeezes him a bit too tight but he’s so excited for Harry, he can’t bring himself to care, doesn’t think Harry does either.

Nick has been wanting this for Harry since they met. He’s always known Harry was meant for stardom. On top of the ridiculous talent, he has the charisma it takes to become a superstar. He’s just been waiting for the right person to come along and realize that this brilliant artist was there in front of them. Waiting for someone to jump on the opportunity.

“The showcase is next weekend and everyone’s invited to come. Even Grayson,” Harry tells him.

Louis emerges from the kitchen with Grayson in his arms, carrying him over to where Nick is standing in front of Harry.

“You hear that, buddy? Uncle Harry’s gonna be famous!” Nick exclaims, throwing his hands up in the air in celebration.

Harry looks down at his feet, brings his hand up to rub the back of his neck. “I’m not so sure about that, Nick.” 

“I am. I’ve been sure of it from the start. You’re great, Harry. And I’m not just saying that because you’re my best friend, it’s true. You’re really great, like, worldwide popstar great. It’s about time other people see that, too.” Nick is looking him dead in the eyes, wants Harry to believe these words that he’s saying. Because he knows Harry is great at what he does and doesn’t want his nerves to get the best of him at this showcase.

“You guys will be there, right?” Harry asks nervously. “Like, all of you. You three, Niall, Liam, Zayn. You guys will all be there?”

“We wouldn’t miss it, Harry,” Louis assures him. “Hey. Have you eaten? We have some extra pasta. I mean, it’s nothing special, but you know. It’s food.”

“I’d love some,” Harry tells him. The four of them make their way back into the kitchen and Nick grabs another plate and glass out of the cabinet. When he sets the glass on the table, Louis reaches for the wine and pours some for Harry.

“We should toast to this, yeah?” Louis asks as he raises his glass in the air. The other two follow his lead and Louis continues, “To Harry, who’s going to kick ass at this showcase and take over the music world.”

“To Harry!” Nick repeats.

Before they can take a drink of their wine, they’re interrupted by Grayson babbling from his seat. When they look over at him, he has his juice box in his hands, shaking it in the air. 

“See, even Grayson knows you’re going to be amazing,” Nick says, reaching over to squeeze Harry’s arm that’s laying on the table.

Harry blushes as he downs his wine in one go. Louis wastes no time filling the glass again. 

After they finish dinner, Harry takes Grayson into the living room while Nick and Louis clean up the mess in the kitchen. 

“So, this is exciting, huh? I mean, for Harry. Like, this is what he’s worked for, right?” Louis asks, handing Nick a plate to put in the dishwasher.

“It’s all he’s wanted since I first met him,” Nick tells him. “I’ve never seen him this nervous though. I mean, the boy usually oozes confidence. Kind of weird to see him like this.”

Louis dries off his hands with a towel, leaning his hip against the counter so he’s facing Nick. “Yeah, but he’s never had it hanging there in front of him like this, has he? But we’ll all be there for support.”

“Not sure about taking Grayson to a club though. Seems too crowded and loud for a baby.” Nick says worryingly.

“We’ll just have to get him some of those industrial strength headphone things. We’ll make sure his tiny ears are protected! He’ll be fine,” Louis assures him. “Beside, Harry probably won’t play unless he’s there.”

“Yeah, guess you’re right,” Nick says as he loads the rest of the plates in the dishwasher.

They finish cleaning the kitchen and join Harry and Grayson in the living room. It doesn’t take long for Grayson to fall asleep in Harry’s arm as he hums a quiet tune to him. Nick stands up to take his son to his bedroom but Harry brushes him off, tells Nick to sit down and let him do it. 

When Harry emerges a few minutes later, he grabs the rest of the bottle of wine before taking his place on the couch. The three of them spend the rest of the evening discussing which songs Harry should sing at his showcase and what clothes he should wear between sips of the alcohol. When Harry and Louis leave that night, Harry tells them that as soon as he finds out what timeslot he has at the showcase, he’ll let them know. They both remind him that he’s going to do amazing and he has nothing to worry about.

By the time he leaves, Nick’s pretty sure Harry’s started to believe them.

\-----

Before Nick realizes what’s happened, the week is over and it’s Saturday morning. He can’t even begin to count how many times Harry’s called him during the week to ask for advice for his showcase. He’s pretty sure Harry’s late night phone call freakouts have caused him to lose more sleep than the very small child that he’s living with, which is a truly astounding feat. 

After almost a week’s worth of phone calls spent talking him down from a panic attack, Nick gives in and tells Harry he’ll accompany him to the club today to go over last minute details for the show. 

Not knowing who else to ask on such short notice, Nick shoots off a text to Louis asking him to babysit. Within seconds, he gets a reply from Louis: _Of course, anytime._

An hour later and Louis is walking through his front door, no knocking and no greeting.

“Oh, are we past knocking now?” Nick asks from where he’s sitting on the couch, slipping on his trainers.

Louis switches the bag he’s carrying to his other arm. “Oh, umm. I just figured you knew I was coming over? If it’s not okay, I won’t do it again. Sorry.” The boy looks nervous, like he thinks he really fucked up, and Nick finds himself immediately wanting to smooth things over with him, assure him that it’s not a big deal.

Nick stands up and moves to close the distance between himself and Louis. He reaches over his shoulder to grab his coat from the hook hanging on the wall. “It’s okay, Louis. I knew you were coming, no need to be sorry. No worries.” When he sees the fear fall from Louis’ shoulders, he points to Louis’ arm. “Uhh, what’s in the bag?”

Louis shrugs his shoulders as he steps further into the flat. “Just some stuff.”

“Some stuff,” Nick repeats, patting his pockets to check that he has his keys. “Okay, Louis. You have fun with your ‘stuff’ and make sure my son doesn’t like, stick a fork in an electrical outlet or something.”

“We mostly stick to spoons for that kind of stuff,” Louis says, trying to keep a serious expression on his face. It’s no use though, a smile takes over his face not five seconds later followed by a laugh when he sees Nick’s blank face. “I’m kidding, Nick. Now run along and make sure Harry doesn’t try to back out of this showcase. If nothing else works, tell him Niall is gonna be there.”

“That might just freak him out more,” Nick tells him. “Anyway, I’ll be back in a few hours. See you later.”

“Bye!” Louis calls from the doorway.

Nick barely steps foot in the club before Harry’s running at him full speed. “Nick, you’re here! Thank God. Okay, you have to help me out. Brian keeps telling me I need to play “One More Time” when I want to play “Let’s Get Away” and fuck, I don’t know what to do.”

“Okay, first thing’s first. Breathe.” Nick watches Harry suck in a deep breath before exhaling slowly. When he’s done, he looks at Nick with wide eyes, like Nick has the key to what he’s searching for. “Good. Now, fuck what Brian says, okay? This is _your_ showcase. These are _your_ songs and this is _your_ career we’re talking about here. If you want to play “Let’s Get Away”, play “Let’s Get Away.” If you want to play “Say It”, play bloody “Say It.” You do what you want to do. This is all about you tonight, not anyone else, yeah? Fuck what everyone else wants you to do and just do what _you_ want to do.” 

Nick stops himself for a second before backtracking. “Actually, I take that back. Don’t play “Say It.” You know I’m a huge fan of your stuff but God, that song was awful.”

That earns a hearty laugh from Harry. “I know. Why did I ever think trying to fit puns into a song would be a good idea?”

“Because you’re Harry Styles and puns are kind of your forte,” Nick tells him, placing his arm around Harry’s shoulder, walking them towards the stage. “Now, let’s go remind Brian that this is _your_ showcase and then we’ll grab some lunch seeing as you probably haven’t eaten in days. Don’t need you passing out on stage due to lack of proper nutrients or something.”

After chatting with Brian and finalizing the setlist for the night (“Let’s Get Away” included and “One More Time” thrown to the side), the two of them walk to the sandwich shop across the street for lunch. They find a small booth in the corner that isn’t taken, so they claim it as their own. After they give their waitress their order, she turns to take it to the kitchen but Nick reaches out to stop her. 

“Sorry if this is a little forward, but what are you doing tonight? Say, 8 o’clock?” The question earns a not-so-subtle kick under the table from Harry.

The waitress ducks her head to her chest to hide the blush that’s risen on her cheeks. “No plans as of yet,” she tells him. “And no boyfriend to take me out either.”

“Ahh, I know that all too well,” Nick says. She gives him a confused look at the remark. “I mean, the no boyfriend thing,” he clarifies. “But I’m sure we’ll both find the perfect one soon. Good things come to those who wait, isn’t that how the saying goes?” 

The waitress is still standing at the head of their booth, face scrunched up in confusion. Harry chimes in to attempt to clarify what Nick is trying to ask. “What my friend here is trying to say is, I have this showcase across the street at the club? Kind of a make or break type thing? And if you don’t have anything to do tonight, might be fun to come and watch? Bring some of your girlfriends or something?”

“And do you have a boyfriend?” She asks in Harry’s direction.

“I’ll let you know after tonight is over,” he replies with a hopeful smile.

“Well, I hope it works out for you,” she tells him. “And yeah, a night out with my girlfriends sounds good. Who knows, maybe we’ll turn out to be your biggest fans.”

“And you can say you were there the night he was discovered!” Nick tells her.

She wishes Harry good luck tonight and takes their order back to the kitchen. The shop isn’t too crowded so they don’t have to wait too long before she’s bringing their food to them. “You two enjoy your meal!” She says before moving to help the table next to them.

“So,” Nick says between bites of his sandwich, “you and Niall? What’s going on there?”

Harry smiles into his glass of water as soon as Nick mentions Niall’s name. He takes a drink, letting the water sit in his mouth for a bit before swallowing it. “I really like him, Nick. Like, he’s so cute and funny and just, so carefree? And he’s just really fun to be around. And God, his laugh. I love his laugh. And I think he might like me too? But I don’t know, maybe I’m being too hopeful or something.”

“Nothing wrong with being hopeful, Harry.” Nick says as he wipes his hands off on his leg. “So you haven’t snogged him yet?”

“No, not yet.” Harry tells him, blushing in the process, “We held hands in the studio the other night, though. After I called you about what hat to wear, remember? Anyway, I had sent him a text before that, telling him I was in the studio and added a nervous looking emoji. He showed up about five minutes after I got off the phone with you with two things of ice cream and sat in the studio with me and listened to me vent for about an hour. Like, just let everything out about how I was nervous and scared and how much I want this. By the end of it, we were holding hands and all I knew is that I didn’t want the night to end.”

“Aww, my little Harold’s in love.” Nick laughs as he reaches for his glass.

Harry blushes again at the comment. “Am not. At least, I don’t think I am? I don’t know. I could just be being stupid about the whole thing. You know the reason I was so adamant about having “Let’s Get Away” on the setlist tonight is that it’s his favourite song of mine?”

Nick sets his glass down and waits until Harry’s eyes are on him to speak again. “Harry. Listen to me, okay? Ever since I’ve known you, you rush into relationships. You waste no time getting to the snogging and the sex and it turns out to be fleeting and then you’re left writing sad songs about it. But this. I can tell this is different. And from what I’ve seen and from what Louis’ told me, Niall seems like a great guy. So the way I look at it, you have two things to do tonight. You get the guy in the suit to sign you to his record label and you kiss your boy.”

“What if I can’t do either?” Harry asks as he pinches his lip between his fingers. ( _It’s a nervous habit_ , he once told Nick.)

“You’re Harry Styles, you’ll charm the pants off of both of them tonight. Or, maybe just Niall. Definitely just keep it to Niall’s pants.” 

Nick watches Harry’s shoulders relax at the joke. This is exactly what Nick was hoping to accomplish.

He leans in to take another bite of his sandwich before Harry’s speaking up. “So, Louis.”

Nick sets his food down slowly before straightening his posture in his seat. “What about him?”

“You two seem to be getting quite domestic lately,” Harry says.

“Wouldn’t call it domestic,” Nick mumbles.

“What was that? Tell me again who’s watching Grayson right now? Oh yeah, that’s right. Louis. And tell me again who’s dinner date I crashed last week when I came to tell you about my showcase? Oh yeah, yours and Grayson’s and Louis’. Sounds pretty domestic to me.” Harry is sitting across from him with a bewildered look on his face, like he can’t believe Nick is even trying to deny this. 

“It wasn’t a date,” Nick argues.

Harry shakes his head at Nick. “Okay, Nick. Deny it all you want. But I’ve never seen you warm up to anyone as quick as Louis, especially when Grayson’s been involved. I’m just saying, maybe there’s a reason for all of it. Like, a reason that you let him in so easily and that you keep inviting him around.”

Nick doesn’t respond, choosing instead to take a large bite out of his sandwich, signalling to Harry that he’s not up to discussing this right now. 

The conversation ends there. The name ‘Louis’ isn’t spoken another time during lunch or when they go back to the club. Instead, Nick stands where the audience will be standing four hours from now while Harry plays through all of the songs on his setlist. He doesn’t miss how Harry’s face lights up when he sings the chorus to “Let’s Get Away.” He stands in the dressing room while Harry goes back and forth between two hat options for tonight. After Harry decides on the tan one with the black stripe around it, Nick tells him he’ll see him later at the showcase. 

“And I probably won’t see you before you go on stage, but just know that we’ll all be there. Even Grayson. Make his first concert a good one, yeah?” Nick says as he’s straddling the threshold with his feet.

“Yeah. Yeah, I can do that,” Harry says before pulling Nick into a long embrace. 

When he leaves, Harry’s lying on the couch in the back room, smiling as he texts Niall.

Nick arrives back at his flat and he can hear the music before he even opens his door. “You know, I would tell you that Mrs. Baker has probably called to file a noise complaint, but, for some reason, she adores Harry.” He toes off his boots and turns the corner to find Louis pressing Grayson’s hand on a piece of posterboard. When he pulls the hand away, a blue handprint is left.

“It’s the dimples,” Louis explains.

“And what’s this?” Nick asks, stepping into the living room. When he stops right behind the couch, he looks around Louis’ head and reads what’s written on the sign. 

_**I LOVE U UNCLE HARRY!** _

Louis is cleaning Grayson’s hand with a wet wipe as he talks. “Well, it’s a sign for tonight. From Grayson, I mean.” Louis turns towards Nick and his tone turns serious. “I just know Harry was really nervous about tonight? And I know how happy Grayson makes him, so I thought if he was nervous up on stage and he looked out and saw this, it would help him loosen up a bit? Do you think it’s a horrible idea?”

Nick looks from Louis back to the sign. Surrounding the words are different coloured handprints that Louis’ helped Grayson make. “Just letting you know now that he’s probably going to cry when he sees it.”

He picks up Grayson and inspects his little chubby hands. “Looks like someone needs a bath,” Nick tells his son. “But seriously, he’s going to love it, Louis.” 

Louis starts to smile but shifts his attention to cleaning up the paint so Nick doesn’t get to see how big it grows on his face. “Umm, I’ll just clean the rest of this up while you give him his bath. And then I guess I’ll see you at the club tonight around 7?”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Nick says, walking towards the bathroom, Grayson waving his painted hands from where he’s situated in his arms.

While he’s in the middle of giving Grayson a bath, Louis knocks on the bathroom door. “Hey, just wanted to let you know, before I left, that I picked up a pair of those industrial strength headphones for Grayson to wear tonight. They’re sitting on the coffee table, make sure you bring them tonight. Don’t want his little eardrums getting damaged or anything. I’ll see you two later.”

Nick doesn’t say anything in return, just watches Louis walk out of the bathroom and hears the door to his flat open and close, signalling that Louis has left. Nick finds it a bit difficult to take his eyes off the bathroom doorway, but he’s brought back to what’s going on around him when Grayson splashes him with warm bath water.

\-----

It’s a bit weird, carrying a small child into a crowded club, but here Nick is, entering through the front door of the crowded building with Grayson in his arms, eyes wide like he’s trying to take in all the sights and sounds surrounding him.

He pushes his way through a group of people, covering Grayson’s head with his free hand so no one bumps into him while they’re not paying attention. When he comes out on the other side, he hears someone calling his name from behind him. He turns and sees Louis, Zayn, and Liam sitting at a table on the raised level in front of the bar. It’s not so crowded around the tables, the people in the club seem to be migrating towards the stage to get a better view of the act currently on stage, so Nick figures it’s a good place to take Grayson.

“We saved you a seat,” Louis tells him as Nick steps up into the area, “and one for Niall, wherever he is.”

“Thanks,” Nick says, setting Grayson’s bag on the floor under the table. The sign is sticking out the top and Nick can see the grin on Louis’ face when he spots it. He sits down and arranges Grayson on his lap so he’s facing away, wants him to be able to see Harry when he gets on stage. “So, who’s this playing now? They sound good.”

“I forgot their name, but they’re sisters apparently,” Liam answers from across the table.

Nick nods to let Liam know he heard him. It’s loud in the club. Nick knew it would be, but it’s louder than he remembered. That, or he’s just more aware of it now that he has a small child on his lap to worry about. He used to come to clubs all the time, but then Grayson entered his life and just like everything else, it took a backseat to raising his child. Nick is just about to ask Louis to grab the headphones when he turns and sees that Louis already has them in his hands. 

“Don’t want his ears getting hurt,” Louis says, placing the headphones on Grayson’s head.

When they’re secure on his head, Grayson reaches up towards Louis’ head and places his little hands over his ears. Louis reaches out and tickles his belly and Grayson lets out a high pitched squeal. And okay, maybe Nick can see why Harry would say they’ve been getting a little domestic lately. But, Louis’ just helping out when Nick needs it. Doesn’t have to mean anything.

The girls on stage finish their set just as Niall comes rushing towards the table, camera hanging around his neck. 

“And where have you been?” Zayn asks him, moving the empty chair out from under the table so Niall can sit down.

“Don’t worry ‘about it,” Niall answers, grabbing Zayn’s beer and taking a drink out of it. “Harry’s on next.”

The five of them stand up from the table as the announcer walks on stage. “Next we have a young singer-songwriter from Cheshire. Let’s give it up for Harry Styles!” 

Their little group cheers the loudest at the announcement of Harry’s name. Nick looks to the left side of the stage and Harry walks out, guitar in hand. He waves to the crowd and flashes his dimples and Nick can hear a few girls up front yell for him. He watches Harry’s face light up as he takes all of it in. It’s all it takes for Nick to be sure that the stage is exactly where this boy meant to be.

“He hasn’t even performed and he already has people falling for him,” Louis says next to Nick, sounding amazed at the presence Harry has on stage.

“It’s kind of what he does,” Nick answers, not bothering to move his eyes from his best friend.

“Erm, hi everyone,” Harry says from the middle of the stage. He’s nervous, Nick can tell. And he has good reason to be. It’s pretty much just him on stage, sure there’s the backing band, but the spotlight is on Harry. All eyes in the room are on him. “I’m Harry and I have a few songs for you tonight. So, dance along if you’d like. Just make sure you have a good time.” He smiles from his spot on stage before he starts playing the first chords of his set.

It’s odd for Nick to see Harry up on a stage like this. Sure, he’s heard Harry play before, but never like this. Never for this type of crowd. But from the first word he sings, Nick can see that Harry has these people wrapped around his finger. This crowd is Harry’s to do with as he pleases.

He can tell the moment Harry spots their group in the back of the crowd. It’s after the first song is over and Harry’s taking a drink of his water and he halts for a brief second before the biggest smile Nick’s ever seen appears on his face. 

Nick and Louis help Grayson hold up the sign for Harry to read and Harry mouths an “I love you, guys” in their direction.

He continues with his set and the crowd loves it. The songs are brand new to everyone’s ears except for a few in their own group, but everyone in the club is dancing and singing along with the “woah”s in the songs and Nick is so proud of his best friend. 

During the fourth song, Louis offers to take Grayson off Nick’s hands. 

Nick hands him over and within seconds, Louis is spinning Grayson around in circles. Nick watches them dance around the table area, bopping around while Louis sings along to Harry’s songs. Grayson’s giggling in Louis’ arms, eyes so wide and bright, reflecting Louis’ own. He finds himself watching the two of them more than he’s watching Harry and he feels a little bit guilty at first, until he glances back at the stage and Harry winks at him. 

And fuck, Harry was right. Nick was an idiot to think it didn’t, but it does mean something. At least to him it does. There’s an underlying reason that Nick keeps inviting Louis around. All the babysitting, the dinners, the sign, the headphones, the first night Louis came over and helped Nick when Grayson was sick. He’s not sure why he hadn’t realized it before, but it’s so obvious to him now. This boy waltzed right into his life at 2 am on a Wednesday night and fit so effortlessly.

When Harry arrives at the last song of his set, he speaks into the microphone and tells the crowd that it’s for someone he cares about a lot. Nick raises his head and expects Harry to be looking in Niall’s direction. Instead, he finds Harry looking straight back at him. The first chords to “Let’s Get Away” fill the club and Nick gets why Harry’s focus was on him. The lyrics are about getting away from the day to day life, the things that hold you back from grabbing hold of what’s right in front of you, taking a chance on someone who you’re sure of even though you’re scared. 

Nick switches his attention back to Louis who’s standing at his side, Grayson on his hip so he’s positioned between the two of them. Louis’ focused on the stage, lights dancing on his face as he listens to Harry sing. Nick wants nothing more than to get inside his brain, figure out what this song is making him think and feel. He can’t help but wonder if Louis’ thoughts match his own. He breaks his stare when Grayson reaches a hand towards him, searching for a touch from his father. Nick grabs hold of his hand and gives it a squeeze before bringing it up to his lips and kissing his tiny fist.

Harry finishes the song, thanks the crowd for coming out tonight and the crowd bursts into cheers and applause. Nick’s pretty sure Niall’s cheering the loudest, though. When Harry disappears from the stage, the five of them go back to their seats, ordering a round of beers to celebrate tonight.

About fifteen minutes later, Harry’s found them. When he reaches where they’re standing, he can barely contain himself before he’s announcing that the record label really liked him and they want to meet with him in the morning. Nick is the first one to get to him, pulling him into a huge hug, sandwiching Grayson between their bodies. 

While he has him close, Nick whispers, “Knew you could do it, Haz. Now it’s time to snog your boy.”

Harry chuckles, leaning in to Nick’s ear. “Already did. Before the set.” When he pulls back, Nick can see how red his face is even in the dim club lights.

“Told you you’d be brilliant,” Nick says over the sounds of the room around him, reaching up his free hand to ruffle Harry’s unruly hair.

Niall appears at Nick’s side with two beers in his hands. “And now we have to celebrate!” He holds one pint out towards Harry but he’s shaking his head.

“Nah, don’t need beer tonight. This is enough,” Harry tells him. Niall looks down at the pints in his hands before he shrugs and reaches around Nick to set them on the table. When he turns back, he wastes no time closing the distance that separates Harry and himself, reaching up and wrapping his arms around Harry’s neck and pulling him down for a kiss. Nick watches as Harry let his guard down easily and melts into the kiss before he decides it isn’t for his eyes to see. This is Niall and Harry’s moment, he’s going to let them have it.

Nick turns away to give the two of them some privacy, but he can hear Niall tell Harry how amazing he was tonight and that he knew he was going to get signed. This is all Nick’s wanted for Harry, a chance to share his music with the world and someone who would be there for him when it happened.

There’s a tap on Nick’s shoulder that brings him out of his thoughts and when he turns around, Harry’s standing in front of him. “Where’d Niall go?” Nick asks.

“To get another beer. Said if I wasn’t drinking, he’d have to do it for the both of us. Now can I please see my godson? I hear he’s my number one fan.” Nick lets Harry have him and of course, in true Grayson fashion, he immediately reaches for Harry’s hair. This time, Harry lets him take hold of it, too excited from tonight to stop him. “Hey, I’m gonna take him outside for a bit, get a bit of fresh air. He could probably use a break from this crowd.” 

Nick gives him the go ahead and watches Harry snake his way through the crowd, shielding his son with his free hand. A few people stop him on his way to the exit to congratulate him on his set and he sees a few girls wave at Grayson. The two of them both light up at the attention.

When they’re out of Nick’s sight, he turns back to find the other boys. More people are gathering in the area they’re in and he can’t see any of their faces in the crowd that he’s found himself in the middle of. Just when he’s about to give up all hope of finding one of them, Louis emerges from the crowd in front of Nick.

“Where did all of these people come from? Had to elbow my way through the crowd just to get back here,” Louis tells him as he takes a drink of his beer.

Nick watches how his mouth wraps around the lip of the bottle, can’t seem to look away as Louis’ cheeks start to hollow as he sucks down the alcohol. It’s only when Nick’s jostled by someone behind him and he’s pushed closer that his attention is brought up to Louis’ eyes. He’s not sure if it’s the way Louis’ eyes widen as Nick is shoved closer to him, or if it’s the close proximity between them now, or the way the alcohol has made Louis’ lips shine in the lights of the club, but he finds himself making a snap decision.

Nick forgets about everyone else in the room and surges forward, meeting Louis’ lips with his own. For a brief moment, he can feel Louis kiss him back, sinking into it and starting to open his mouth as Nick presses his tongue forward, granting him access. And this is exactly what Nick wanted, to kiss Louis and to be kissed back, to not be the only one between the two of them that feel this way.

He starts to feel his lips turn up at the corners, a smile growing on his face as he kisses this boy.

But then Louis tenses up and everything stops. 

Nick immediately pulls away from the kiss and brings his hand up to his mouth, trying his best to hide the emotions that are, without a doubt, painted on his face for the world to see. He says a hurried, “I’m so sorry,” and reaches down to pick up Grayson’s bag before he pushes his way through the crowd of people, away from Louis. Away from the mistake he just allowed himself to make.

He spots the exit and doesn’t look back, walks right out of the club. Harry and Grayson are standing in the middle of the sidewalk when Nick spots them. He practically runs over to them, telling Harry that he was wrong about everything and that he needs to go home. Harry tries to get him to calm down and tell him what happened but Nick isn’t having it, just wants to get in his car and go home.

“I’ll drive you,” Harry tells him. He pulls his phone out of his pocket, sends a text to Niall to tell him that he’s taking Nick and Grayson home, and then they leave the club. 

Harry follows Nick to his car and straps Grayson in his carseat before he climbs in the driver’s side. Nick silently climbs in the passenger side and leans his head against the cold window, closing his eyes as he thinks of how he finally put himself out there and was met with Louis rejecting him.

They get back to his flat and Harry tells him to take a shower while he puts Grayson to bed. When he gets done cleaning the night off of his skin and brushing the taste of Louis from his mouth, Nick walks to his room and finds Harry in his bed. Neither one of them say anything as he buries himself under the covers and turns towards the wall, trying to hide his face in his pillow.

“Nick. Tell me what happened, please?” Harry pleads quietly as he wraps his limbs around Nick’s body.

“You should be celebrating with Niall,” Nick replies in lieu of answering the real question.

“No,” Harry assures him, “I should be right where I am. With you. Niall will understand. Right now you need me. Now please tell me what happened.”

“I kissed him,” Nick tells Harry. “I kissed him and he didn’t want it and I’m such an idiot.” He can feel the tears running down his cheek and onto his pillow as Harry squeezes him tighter. “I was so wrong.”

\-----

The next morning, Nick wakes up to the sounds coming over the baby monitor, telling him that Grayson is awake. He sits up slowly and rubs his eyes before he notices a small piece of paper lying next to him in bed. He grabs it with one hand and pushes the hair out of his face with the other.

_Had to get to my meeting today, I’ll be back after I’m done to check on you._  
You’re not an idiot, by the way.  
xxx H 

Nick places the paper on the bedside table before standing up and stretching out the stiff muscles in his back. He gently walks out of his room and across the hallway to where his son is awake in his crib, softly crying for some sort of attention. Nick scoops Grayson out of his bed and cradles him in his arms, wiping away the few stray tears from his cheeks before carrying him into the kitchen to get him some breakfast.

He sits Grayson in his chair and pours him some milk and grabs a fruit pouch from the refrigerator. It’s all he can muster this morning, still drained from what happened at the club. Nick places them both on the table in front of his son and takes the seat next to him.

While Grayson eats his breakfast, Nick wills his mind to not go back to the night before. However, his mind refuses to cooperate and memories from the kiss flood his brain. Memories of how Louis’ lips looked as he placed them on the lip of his beer bottle. Memories of how the crowd around them forced Nick to fall into Louis’ personal space. Memories of Nick throwing all caution aside and kissing Louis. Memories of Louis stopping it, sending Nick into a panic.

Nick thinks the worst part is realizing that he fucked it up all for all of them, especially his son.

He’s brought back to the present when Grayson spills his milk on the table, causing it to run over the side and onto Nick’s bare legs.

And right, that’s where Nick’s focus should be. Not on some boy who lives down the hallway. Not on some kiss that ended up not being what Nick wanted it to be. But on his son, who is now sitting in front of him with a quivering bottom lip and eyes filling with tears because he just spilled his milk all over the table.

“Hey buddy. It’s okay, don’t cry!” Nick says in a soothing voice as he grabs a hand towel from the drawer. “Look, Daddy’s going to clean it all up. See? No more mess! You’re going to be fine, okay? Nothing to be sad about. We’re going to be fine.” Out of the two of them, Nick’s not sure who he’s really trying to convince.

He paints on a smile as he cleans up the spilled milk as fast as he can. After it’s all wiped up, he picks Grayson up out of his seat and carries him to the living room so he can play with his toys. It seems to make Grayson forget about the milk because as soon as he grabs two of his stuffed animals, he’s breaking out into happy giggles and squeals.

Nick leans his head back on the couch and watches his son play from a distance. After a few minutes, his attention is grabbed by his phone ringing in his bedroom. Seeing that Grayson is content to play with his animals for a bit, he feels safe to go answer it.

He doesn’t look at the name of who’s calling before swiping across the screen to answer it.

“Meeting over already, Haz?” he says in place of a hello.

“Umm. Hi.” And this definitely isn’t Harry’s voice. No, this voice is higher and much too cautious to be coming from someone who just signed a record deal.

Nick feels his chest tightening and sits down on the bed, trying to make sense of why Louis would be calling him the morning after he rejected his kiss. “Louis,” he breathes into the phone.

Louis starts to talk from the other end of the line, “Nick. God, last night. Can we talk--”

Nick doesn’t let him finish his question. He’s already made up his mind about what he’s going to do. “Louis. I can’t do this.”

And with that, Nick is pressing ‘end call’ and tossing his phone back down on the comforter next to him. He shakes the sound of Louis’ voice out of his mind and makes his way back into the living room where Grayson is now playing with his toy cars.

Nick moves across the room to sit down next to him, grabbing a toy car from under his leg as he situates himself on the floor. 

“It’s just you and me, Grayson,” he says out loud, more for his benefit than his son’s. Grayson looks up at him with his innocent brown eyes, completely oblivious to the decision his father just made. 

He’s done a pretty good job at making sure his son is well taken care of and safe, Nick thinks. And he hates that he put that in jeopardy by letting someone become a part of their lives so easily and then ruining it by making a selfish decision the night before. But it’s not going to happen again, he decides. 

From now on, he’s focusing on his son. He’s not going to make a mistake like last night again.

\-----

As time goes on, Nick does a pretty good job avoiding Louis considering they only live down the hall from one another. 

He has a couple of close calls, though.

Like when Gillian comes over to watch Grayson so Nick can run down to the shop to pick up a few things. He takes two steps out of his door before he hears the familiar voice coming from the stairwell. Nick immediately ducks back into his flat, using the excuse that he forgot his phone in his bedroom and has to grab it before he left. He pretends he doesn’t see Gillian’s eyebrow raise as she stares at his pocket where she can definitely see a phone-shaped object sitting. But when he emerges from of his room ten minutes later, just to be safe that Louis isn’t in the hallway anymore, she doesn’t ask him any questions about it. He picks her up a bottle of wine from the shop as a thank you for not pushing the subject.

And Nick definitely doesn’t catch himself staring at the wine that he and Louis drank that first night when he’s picking out a bottle for Gillian.

Other times it’s easy. Nick goes days and weeks at a time without having a close call with Louis in their building or without hearing anyone say his name.

Nick goes on with his life like Louis never stepped foot inside of it. He focuses his attention on Grayson. Makes sure he’s eating healthy and getting his proper vitamins so he grows big and strong. He Skypes Harry as he hops from city to city to promote his album. The record label fell in love with all of his demos, said they just needed a proper mixing and he would be all set to release his debut album. Harry had come over to Nick’s after he got that news, they celebrated with ice cream and juice boxes while they watched cartoons on the couch, Grayson planted on the cushion between them.

He found a new park to take Grayson to. One that’s a little bit further away from their flat. Far enough away that he has to drive to it. But also far enough away that he won’t have any run ins with Louis. At the new park, there is a small area for dogs to play in and the first day they visited, a corgi puppy found its way over to where the two Grimshaws were sitting eating biscuits. After Grayson fed the dog one, Nick had to apologize to it’s owner repeatedly for his son’s actions. While Nick was on his fifth apology, he and the woman glanced down at the blanket at their feet and were too distracted by the site of their babies cuddled together, sound asleep, to do much more talking.

When Harry asks him why he switched parks, Nick uses the bond between his son and the pup as his reasoning. Harry accepts it, but not before he consciously stops himself from arguing the subject with Nick.

His old roommate, Henry, comes by one night, tells Nick it’s been far too long since they went out for a drink and before Nick can argue, his friend Ian shows up to babysit and he’s being pulled out of his flat. Since Henry was in such a rush to go out, Nick didn’t have time to properly explain Grayson’s routine with Ian. Which leads to him texting instructions the entire way to the pub.

It’s been awhile since he’s felt this sort of panic from leaving his son with a babysitter. But then again, it’s been awhile since anyone other than Gillian or Louis babysat for him. And Gillian’s been there for so long that it would be silly to panic about leaving his son in her care.

And Louis. Louis never gave Nick a reason to panic. Louis knew exactly what to do before Nick could give him instructions. It was easy when Louis was around to babysit. 

Everything was easier when Louis was around, Nick finds himself thinking.

The two men end up at a pub downtown. Nick doesn’t realize, until he steps foot inside, that it’s the pub where he and Harry ran into Niall and Louis. Throughout the night, Nick’s eyes find their way back to the booth where the four of them sat that night. 

Nick orders a round of shots to quiet the memory in his head. When the waitress brings the shots to the table, he notices a familiar voice among the large crowd of people filling the building. He looks up, following the sound of the voice until his eyes land on the person it’s coming from. 

Louis’ standing at the bar, ordering a drink, and up until now, Nick had no idea how hard it would be to see him again. But he definitely didn’t think it would be this difficult. Louis looks good, is the thing. He doesn’t look tired like Nick feels from trying to avoid Louis all this time. His lungs feel tight and he feels like he’s about to cry. Like hell he’s doing that in the middle of a crowded pub, he has a little bit more dignity than that.

He downs the shot as fast as he can, wincing at the burn as the alcohol goes down his throat. Then, he’s pulling on Henry’s sleeve, excusing himself to the loo. Except, when he hops down from the booth, he doesn’t head the direction of the toilets. Instead, he sneaks his way through the crowd, carefully so Louis doesn’t see him. Somehow, he makes it outside unnoticed and when he’s free from the pub’s four walls, feels like he can breathe again.

He sends a text to Henry, _Got ill in the toilet, going home now. Sorry to cut the night short. See you again, soon, yeah? - N._

He wonders if this is how it’s going to be from now on. Having to be careful of the places he visits. Having to be on the lookout for Louis wherever he goes. He wonders how long it’ll last. How long it’ll take for the sight of Louis across the room to not turn him into a coward and send him hiding.

Aside from worrying about himself, Nick was afraid, at first, that Grayson would also have a hard time adjusting to Louis having disappeared from their lives. But as far as Nick can tell, his son is doing just fine. The fact that he told everyone he knows to not mention Louis around Grayson might have something to do with it.

So, Nick thinks his son is taking it pretty well.

Or, he did, until Harry comes back from his promo tour one day. Grayson’s in his bedroom playing with his dinosaur toys and Nick comes skipping in.

“Guess who came to see you, Grayson?” Nick asks in a sing-song voice.

His son stops playing with his dinosaurs and looks up at Nick before focusing his attention on the open space in the doorway next to him. “Lu Lu Lu Lu,” Grayson starts to chant from his spot on the floor as he shakes his dinosaurs wildly.

Nick visibly sinks into himself and his face falls at the name coming from his son’s mouth. He opens and closes his mouth, at a loss of what to say before Harry appears at his side.

Like the best friend he is, he wastes no time walking into the room to spare Nick from having to find the words to tell his son that no, it’s not Louis and it’s not going to be Louis again. “No buddy, just Uncle Harry,” he says as he enters the room, carrying a bag in one hand that holds a present he bought for Grayson while he was gone.

The child’s face scrunches up in confusion at the two men standing around him but it quickly fades into curiosity when he sees the bag in Harry’s hand. Nick excuses himself from the room while Harry gives Grayson his present. He makes his way into his own bedroom and shuts the door behind him. He doesn’t even make it to his bed before his knees are collapsing under him, leaving him sitting, broken, on the carpet at the foot of his bed.

He swore, from the day Grayson was born, that he wouldn’t let anyone in his son’s life that would disappear from it the way his mother had. And Nick let Louis do that. No, not only did he _let_ Louis do that, he was the _reason_ Louis did that. He was the one who let Louis into his flat the night Grayson was sick. He was the one that kept inviting Louis around for dinner and babysitting. He was the one who kissed Louis. And he was the one who made the decision to cut Louis out completely.

As much as he would like to blame Louis, Nick has no one to blame for this but himself. 

There’s a quiet knock on his bedroom door followed immediately by Harry stepping into the room. Nick doesn’t look up from where he’s sitting on the floor, doesn’t want Harry to see how disappointed Nick is in himself for letting this happen. 

Harry sits down next to him and wraps his arm around his shoulder, pulling Nick closer to him. “Hey,” Harry says to bring Nick out of his own thoughts, “Just so you know, this doesn’t make you a bad dad.” 

Nick doesn’t say anything, just sinks into Harry’s side as he reaches up to rub at the tears threatening to fall from his eyes.

“Because I know that’s what you’re thinking. You think that you’re the one who caused all of this. But Nick, you have to know that these things are going to happen. People are going to enter your lives and leave your lives. You can’t protect Grayson from all of them, no matter how much you want to.” 

Nick lifts his head from Harry’s shoulder. “Yeah, but I didn’t have to go and kiss him, did I?”

“I think we all misread that one, Nick. Niall was even positive that Louis was head over heels for you. Don’t beat yourself up over it.” Harry tells him. They sit on the floor for a few more minutes until Nick feels ready to find his feet again. 

When they make their way back to Grayson, he’s pressing buttons on the plastic guitar Harry bought for him. Harry runs back into the living room and grabs his own and he and Grayson have their own mini jam session for their audience of one. Nick applauds them both when they’re done and his son lights up at the attention, no trace of confusion over Louis not being there left on his face.

Harry leaves shortly before dinner time so he can meet up with Niall for their date. As he slips on his coat, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a paper. “I know it’s not the best time or anything, but I was told to give this to you.” Harry presses a kiss to both Nick and Grayson’s temples before leaving the flat.

Nick closes the door as he looks down at the paper in his hand. When he unfolds it, his heart sinks as he reads what it is. It’s an invitation to Louis’ birthday party. 

Just then, his phone starts to buzz in his pocket. He pulls it out and sees a text message from Harry: _He saw me in the hallway when I got here, asked me to give it to you. I just think maybe you should talk to him? I’ll talk to you later xo - H ___

__Nick types out _traitor_ on his phone to send back to Harry but deletes it. Instead he sends _I don’t know. We’ll see.__ _

__He sets the invitation on the side table in the living room while he plays with Grayson. About five minutes later, after numerous glances at the piece of paper, he puts it in a drawer in the kitchen so he doesn’t have to be reminded of its presence._ _

__Louis’ birthday is Christmas Eve, which means Nick has a week to make his decision regarding the invitation. Harry informs him that he’s going to the party with Niall, asks if that’s okay. Nick, of course, tells him that it’s fine. Harry and Niall are dating and Niall and Louis are best friends, he’d be a dick to stand in the middle of Harry going to his party._ _

__Nick makes his own decision the day before the party._ _

__“I’m not going,” he tells Harry as they bake Christmas biscuits in Nick’s kitchen. Grayson’s in his chair, playing with a lump of dough. “I’m going to my parent’s house in Manchester tomorrow. Staying there through Christmas. They haven’t seen Grayson in a while, seems like a good Christmas present for ‘em.”_ _

__Harry doesn’t push the issue. He just says “okay” and continues cutting reindeer shapes out of the dough. They bake and decorate biscuits the rest of the night. They even give Grayson a few Christmas tree ones and a little bit of frosting so he can decorate his own. He ends up getting more on his clothes than on the actual biscuit, though. When Harry goes to stop him from smashing it in his hair, Grayson changes course at the last second and Harry ends up with green frosting down the side of his face._ _

__Nick's laugh fills the whole flat when he sees the look on Harry’s face as he tries to wipe the frosting off his cheek. It’s the first time he’s laughed like this in a long time, and it’s a nice feeling, so he doesn’t try to stop himself even when Harry’s sitting across from him with his arms folded across his chest and a pout on his face._ _

__Nick lets Harry put Grayson to bed after they’ve cleaned up the mess in the kitchen. When Harry comes back, Nick is perched on top of the counter, nursing a bottle of beer._ _

__“I know I’m not going to his party tomorrow,” Nick begins, “but I have something I need you to give him.”_ _

__He hops down from his spot on the counter and disappears from the kitchen. He comes back a few seconds later, staring at an envelope he’s now carrying._ _

__“I mean, I know it’s his birthday, and he’s going to get loads of presents and he’s not going to miss this. But, I felt bad not getting him anything. Even after everything that’s happened. I would still feel like shit just like, making him think I completely ignored the invitation.” He holds out the envelope to Harry, urging him to take it out of his hand._ _

__Harry grabs the envelope from Nick, flips it over in his hands a few times before looking back up at Nick. “What is it?”_ _

__“Just a card from me and Grayson,” Nick explains. “Didn’t have money to get him anything. So, I just got him a card. I mean, it’s nothing great, but. It’s something, right?”_ _

__“Nothing great. Right.” Harry mulls over out loud._ _

__The conversation about the envelope ends there. Nick finishes his beer and Harry leaves shortly after._ _

__“I’ll see you after Christmas, then?” Harry asks as he’s leaving the flat, box of freshly baked biscuits in his hand for Niall._ _

__“After Christmas,” Nick assures him before pulling him into a hug._ _

__After Harry leaves, Nick catches himself standing in his doorway, looking down the hall towards Louis’ flat. He decides, then, that if Louis’ door opens in the next minute, that he’ll go talk to him. Nick stares down at the phone in his hand, watching as the time changes from 11:42 to 11:43. The door never opens and Nick tells himself it’s a sign. He gives up and closes the door, turns off the lights in his flat and makes his way to bed._ _

__\-----_ _

__Nick loads their bags into the car and he and Grayson leave for his parents’ house early the next day. It takes only a few hours to get there, more so because of the road conditions than the traffic. Not too long into the drive, Nick looks back in the rearview mirror and sees that his son is fast asleep in his car seat. So it’s just Nick and the open road in front of him for the rest of the drive. And it’s kind of nice. It allows Nick time to clear his head from everything he’s leaving behind in London for the time being._ _

__He sneaks a few of the Christmas biscuits out of the container sitting in the passenger seat to ease his grumbling stomach so he doesn’t have to pull off somewhere to get lunch. He’d rather not wake Grayson from his slumber, likes to let him get as much sleep as he can._ _

__His mum is already making her way out of the front door when he pulls the car into his parents’ driveway. She stops in front of Nick to give him a hug and a kiss before she’s opening the back door to take Grayson out of his car seat._ _

__“And hello my big boy!” She coos at him as she plants a kiss on his cheek._ _

__She turns her attention to Nick next. “Don’t be such a stranger, Nicholas. We miss you two too much.”_ _

__Nick is quick to apologize. “Sorry mum. But we’re here now. Happy Christmas and all that, right?”_ _

__“The Happiest Christmas,” she tells him. She carries Grayson into the house while Nick gathers their bags from the car._ _

__When Nick gets to the front door, his dad is holding it open for him. Before stepping inside, he drops the bags at his feet and pulls his dad in for a proper hug._ _

__“Missed you, Nick,” his dad says._ _

__“You too, dad.” And it’s true. No matter how differently Nick and his father are. No matter how disappointed his dad was when Nick dropped out of uni to go into radio. No matter how much his dad kept asking him if raising a child by himself was really what he ought to be doing. No matter their differences, Nick always knows that his dad will be there for him. It’s one of those things Nick didn’t learn until he got older, that all the questioning his dad did about his life choices was simply because his dad wanted the best for him._ _

__“Well, come on in before you freeze out here.” His dad grabs the smaller of the bags and takes it into the house, Nick following behind him._ _

__The rest of the day is filled with food and family and laughter, exactly what Christmas time should be filled with. Nick doesn’t even think about Louis or the party he’s missing. He’s too busy catching up with his parents and what’s going on with his siblings to let his mind wander to anything else. When it starts to get late, everything seems to die down in the house and they all agree it’s time for bed._ _

__Unfortunately, when Nick moved out of his parent’s house, they turned his old bedroom into an office. Which means that whenever Nick comes back to visit, he’s left to sleep in the living room. Luckily, the couch folds out into a bed and there’s more than enough room for Grayson and him to sleep. Nick’s mum grabs some extra blankets and pillows from the cupboard and makes sure her son and grandson have everything they need before kissing them both goodnight and retreating to her bedroom._ _

__The day must have worn Grayson out, because it takes no time at all for him to fall asleep after Nick lays him down in the bed. For Nick, it takes a bit longer. Now that it’s quiet in the house and he’s not preoccupied by other things, Nick searches for the jeans he shucked off earlier and when he finds them, he pulls his phone out of the pocket._ _

__On the screen is a notification from Harry. It’s from earlier in the day. _Just checking that you got to your parents’ house okay. Give Eileen and Pete my love! And Grayson! Happy Christmas!__ _

__Nick lies back in the bed and plays a few levels of Candy Crush on his phone, hoping that the screen will strain his eyes enough that they have to give in and let him sleep._ _

__He’s a few moves shy of beating an especially difficult level when he’s startled by a quiet knock at the door. He closes the game and checks the clock on his phone. Half past midnight. He wonders who in their right mind would be knocking on his parents’ door this late at night._ _

__Nick gently rolls out of the bed so he doesn’t wake up Grayson, slips on a pair of trackies and pads over to the front door. When peeks out of the window to see who it is, his eyes go wide. There’s no way this is happening right now._ _

__He pulls the front door open. “Louis?”_ _

__Sure enough, standing on his parents’ front porch is the one person he was hoping to leave behind in London. He looks tired, is the first thing Nick notices after the initial shock of him being there fades away. The next thing he notices is that he isn’t dressed properly for the winter weather. He’s wearing jeans and a jumper, but no coat, scarf, or anything else to protect him from the cold._ _

__Louis’ teeth are chattering when he speaks. “Hi.”_ _

__Nick can see him shivering as he tries to pull the sleeves of his jumper over his shaking hands. “What are you doing here, Louis?” Nick asks. “And how? How did you even know where I was?”_ _

__“Harry told me,” Louis informs him. And he must notice the look of annoyance on Nick’s face because he wastes no time trying to protect Harry’s name. “I dragged it out of him. Like, he didn’t want to tell me. Just. Listen. Can we talk about all of this? Please?”_ _

__Nick knows it would be easier to tell Louis no and close the door on him and go back to bed. But he wants to know what Louis has to say. He thinks he deserves it. “Yeah, sure. Just, come in, would you? It’s freezing outside and I’m not going to be sick on Christmas.”_ _

__He steps aside to let Louis walk into the house. After closing the door behind them, he tells Louis he has to stay quiet, that Grayson and his parents are sleeping._ _

__Louis nods to let him know he’ll keep it down and follows Nick as he leads him into the living room where his son is asleep on the fold out couch. They sit by the window, keeping distance between the two of them and Grayson._ _

__Louis is the first one to break the silence that’s fallen between them. “Please don’t blame Harry for me being here. He didn’t want to tell me where you were. When I finally got it out of him that you were at your parents’, I convinced him to give me the address. He gave me the card, said you weren’t coming to the party but you wanted me to have the card and I just knew. I knew I had to come and see you. I had to come and talk to you. You’ve been avoiding me for the past two months, Nick. And I know why, okay? I know that you freaked out when you kissed me but, fuck. You have to let me explain.”_ _

__Nick looks to where his son is sleeping, looking completely innocent while this tornado of emotional turmoil is spinning around him._ _

__“I thought about coming tonight,” Nick says quietly, not much louder than a whisper. Almost as if he doesn’t want to admit it out loud, to himself or Louis. “To your party, I mean. Harry gave me the invitation and I thought about it. But then I thought about what happened the last time I saw you in person. And I couldn’t put myself through that again. I mean. It’s okay that you didn’t want it. I get it. I really do. It’s something that all single parents get, I think? That only certain people will come into their lives and want to stay there. Too much of an investment, isn’t it?”_ _

__Louis is shaking his head, obviously disagreeing with everything Nick is saying. “But you’re wrong Nick. At least about me. Just hear me out, okay?”_ _

__Nick takes a deep breath before urging Louis to continue. “Yeah, okay.”_ _

__A cautious smile appears on Louis’ face before he starts to speak again. “I just need you to know that knocking on your door the night Grayson was sick was the best decision I made since moving to London. I mean, I felt useful? Like I was helping someone out and that was really nice, haven’t really felt that way since I’ve been away from my mum and sisters. And then I got to know you. And I got to know Grayson. And everything just seemed to fall into place? Except I was cautious, because Grayson’s so young and I know how that is. I know how it is to have people come in and out of your lives when you’re so young and I didn’t want to put Grayson through that. So I tried to keep my distance. But you kept asking me to babysit and he’s such a great kid so I felt fine saying yes. And I really loved spending time with you two.”_ _

__“And then,” he continues, “and then there was the night at Harry’s gig. And I don’t know when it happened, but somewhere along the line I started to have actual feelings for you. But then you kissed me. And please, just know that I wanted that kiss too, Nick. Wanted it since we shared that bottle of wine the night we met. But I didn’t think _you_ did. I guess maybe I thought it was just the alcohol and we were both happy for Harry and just, the atmosphere around us. So when you kissed me, I thought you might regret it in the morning. So I freaked out and I stopped it and I’ve been beating myself up over it ever since.”_ _

__“You just let me leave, though,” Nick says, confused by Louis’ confession. “You let me walk out of the club that night and you didn’t try to explain yourself. So why now? It’s been two months, Louis.”_ _

__“Because I knew you needed space, Nick,” Louis explains. “Listen, I went through my mum trying to date when I was younger. I knew how hard it was for her to let men into our lives because she was afraid they would end up leaving in the end. I didn’t want that to happen to you. I didn’t want you to realize that you had made a mistake and that you didn’t want really want it. That you didn’t really want me. I was thinking about Grayson, Nick. I didn’t want to put him through that. I was trying to give you time to think about if you really wanted this or not.”_ _

__Nick can’t hold in his laughter when Louis pauses. It’s inappropriate, he knows that, but he can’t stop himself from letting it out._ _

__Louis flinches at the abrupt noise. “What’s so funny?” he asks slowly._ _

__“You were trying to protect Grayson by giving me space,” Nick explains. “I was trying to protect Grayson by avoiding you. When I kissed you and you stopped it, I figured that was it. That I fucked it all up and that you didn’t want it and that you would want out of whatever this thing was that we’d fallen into. I mean. I completely understand why you wanted to stop it. Why would you want to get involved with a guy who has a kid? You’re so young, Louis. You have so much time to be young and to live your life without worrying about a child.”_ _

__“You don’t get to decide what I want though,” Louis says quietly. “Who says that’s not what I want?”_ _

__Nick pauses, processing Louis’ words. “What are you saying?” he asks cautiously._ _

__“I’m saying that this is what I want. Okay? I want you and I want Grayson in my life,” Louis says decisively. “And not even just a part of my life. I want you to be the whole thing, Nick. The both of you. You don’t get to tell me that I’m too young to want that, okay? I get to make that decision, not you.”_ _

__Louis hands over a present that Nick forgot he was carrying before. “This is for you. I want you to open it.”_ _

__Nick takes it from Louis’ hand and looks it over, as if he’ll know what it is if he stares long enough._ _

__“Go on,” Louis urges._ _

__Nick tears away the wrapping paper as quietly as he can, still aware that his son is sleeping a few feet away from him. When the paper is out of the away, Nick realizes he’s holding a picture frame. He slowly flips it over in his hand so he can see what’s placed inside of it._ _

__There, in the picture frame, is a picture of the three of them. Nick and Louis are standing next to each other with Grayson on Louis’ hip, sandwiched between the two men. It’s from the night of Harry’s gig and all three of them have huge smiles on their faces. Grayson has the industrial strength headphones on his head and he’s clutching onto Louis’ shirt. He and his son are looking right at the camera, but Louis’ eyes are looking off to the side towards Nick. He’s afraid to admit it to himself, but they look like a proper family._ _

__“That was my favourite night, you know?” Louis starts to say. “I mean, before everything went to shit. Niall took that picture, remember? During the middle of Harry’s set?”_ _

__“Yeah, I remember,” Nick says. And he does, every single second of that night is permanently inked into Nick’s memory. He remembers Niall bouncing around their area, camera in hand, snapping pictures of everyone who was there. Remembers him stopping in front of the three of them, yelling over the music and the crowd to squeeze together and smile._ _

__“I’ve missed you,” Nick lets himself say out loud. “I’ve missed you and Grayson’s missed you. And do you know how hard it is to avoid you? I switched parks because of you. Like, rearranged my whole life because of you. Because I had it in my mind that you didn’t want this. That you didn’t want me and you didn’t want Grayson.”_ _

__Louis shakes his head at the thought, reaches out and gently grabs hold of Nick’s hands before speaking. “Nick. Look at me.” He waits until Nick’s looking him directly in the eyes to continue, making sure Nick is actually hearing what he’s saying. “I want all of this, okay? I want you and I want Grayson and I want everything that comes along with that. I want to be there for him when he’s sick and I want to be there when he can’t sleep and I want to be there when he’s perfectly healthy and fine. I want to experience it all with the two of you.”_ _

__Nick takes a deep breath before talking. “I can’t do this if you’re not in it one hundred percent, Louis. You have to be in this for the long run. I can’t have Grayson getting even more attached to you and then you leaving. He’s always going to be my number one priority, you have to understand that. Even if you get to the point where you have the smallest inkling that you might want out, you need to let me know.” Nick’s not going to let Grayson be hurt again. Not going to watch the look of hope fade into disappointment when he sees that Louis isn’t the one surprising him at his bedroom door._ _

__“I’m in it one hundred ten percent Nick. I’m not going anywhere. As long as you want me around, I’ll be here.”_ _

__Nick can see the hope in Louis’ eyes as he takes his time making his final decision._ _

__“Okay,” Nick decides. “Okay yeah, we’re going to do this.” His mouth turns up into a smile when he makes his decision, surprising even himself that he’s letting himself have this._ _

__The hope in Louis’ eyes turns into pure happiness as a smile takes over his face, reaching from ear to ear before he’s learning forward. He stops himself about halfway, cautious after their last kiss. “Can I kiss you, now? Proper kiss this time? No stopping or anything like that?”_ _

__Nick doesn’t answer with words, instead, he chooses to respond by meeting Louis’ lips halfway. He’s timid at first, testing the waters instead of jumping head first like at the club. But as soon as their lips meet, Louis’ hands are reaching up to cup Nick’s cheek and he allows himself to sink into the kiss, letting the other boy take control._ _

__This is the type of kiss Nick was hoping for the night of Harry’s gig. The type of kiss where both of them want it and they know the weight it has behind it. They kiss like they’re trying to prove something to each other. There’s more than just attraction behind the kiss. There’s hope and promises and a future._ _

__They break apart when they hear Grayson moving around on the bed. Nick stands up and makes his way across the room to where his son is lying, hoping that he just woke himself up for a brief moment and will fall back asleep with no problems. Instead, his son’s eyes open up and they shift their focus from Nick’s face to the place right over his left shoulder. When Nick looks over, he sees Louis standing right behind him._ _

__And right, this is exactly what Louis was saying. He wants to be there for all of this._ _

__When he looks back down at his son, he sees two tiny hands reaching up and stretching as far as they can in Louis’ direction, feet kicking excitedly on the bed. What happens next has Nick’s heart practically melting._ _

__“Lu Lu Lu Lu,” Grayson starts to say from the bed. The last time he heard this, it was followed by immediate disappointment on his son’s behalf and Nick being convinced he was a horrible father._ _

__This time, it’s followed by Louis looking in Nick’s direction, silently asking for permission. When it’s granted, Louis steps forward and picks Grayson up, sitting him on his hip._ _

__“Hiya,” Louis says quietly, “I’ve missed you.” He looks up at Nick after that, gives him a look as if to say “you too.”_ _

__“Louis’ gonna stay here for Christmas with us buddy. Would you like that?” The answer is a look of pure delight on his son’s face before he buries his face in Louis’ neck, shoving the excess fabric of the jumper in his tiny mouth._ _

__When Nick looks at Louis, he whispers, “Are you sure?”_ _

__Nick reaches towards his son, runs the back of his fingers along his cheek. “Positive.” And he is. He may still be scared, terrified actually, but he was also terrified when he took on full custody of Grayson, and that worked out pretty well for him. So yeah, he’s sure._ _

__Louis sits down in the old rocking chair in the corner of the living room to help Grayson fall back to sleep. When the child’s eyes fall shut and his breathing evens out, he feels comfortable laying him back on the bed. Nick grabs a spare pair of trackies out of his duffel and tosses them in Louis’ direction, watches as a blush creeps up the boy’s cheeks as he shimmies out of his skinny jeans. Louis keeps the jumper on for the warmth, and slips into bed on one side of Grayson._ _

__Nick doesn’t climb into bed right away; he lets himself have a few seconds to take in the sight in front of him. Grayson, who has become his sole reason for existing, sleeping safely in bed in front of him. And Louis, _his_ Louis, who entered his life late one night and never left it the same, lying on the other side of his son. It’s a sight that takes Nick’s breath away a little bit, and he doesn’t think it’s going to change any time soon._ _

__“You coming to bed?” He hears Louis ask._ _

__“Yeah,” Nick says. “Yeah, I am.”_ _

__He climbs into bed so Grayson is lying between the two of them and reaches his hand out to find Louis’ in the dark. When he finds it, their fingers interlock and rest on Louis’ hip. It’s the first night of many they’ll share like this, Nick realizes, and he’s looking forward to all of them._ _

__“Happy Christmas,” Louis whispers as he squeezes Nick’s hand._ _

__Nick squeezes right back. “The happiest.”_ _

__\-----_ _

__“Babe? Where are you?” Louis calls through their flat as he arrives home from work._ _

__It stopped being Nick’s flat and became _their_ flat about six months after Louis showed up at Nick’s parents’ house on Christmas Eve. The two of them woke up that next morning to the sound of Nick’s dad clearing his throat, obviously wanting to know who the random guy in his living room was. After explaining to his parents that Louis wasn’t a _random_ guy and was actually much more than that, they ate a huge Christmas breakfast that Nick’s mum cooked up for them, catching each other’s eyes across the table throughout the meal. Louis followed Nick home later that afternoon and they spent the rest of their Christmas evening watching _It’s A Wonderful Life_ while they passed a bottle of wine back and forth between them._ _

__They decided, after Grayson’s second birthday, that Louis would move into Nick’s flat. He was already spending more time there than his own, so it only made sense to make it official. Harry, Niall, Liam, and Zayn helped carry his belongings down the hallway to Nick’s place while Mrs. Baker watched from her doorway._ _

__Nick was waiting with bated breath for her to say something as she watched the boxes enter his flat with her face turned down in a scowl. Just as he thought she was about to let her disapproving words out, Harry sidled up next to her, told her good afternoon and wished her well. Nick watched the scowl on her face twist up into a smile._ _

__That is, until Harry turned right around and gave Niall a energetic kiss, tongue and all. Mrs. Baker didn’t say anything. Instead, she chose to walk right back into her flat, slamming the door behind her._ _

__So yeah, it’s their flat now, has been for about a year, and it feels right. They have a nice little life set up for themselves now. Louis works in the mornings at his job at the television studio. It’s not much, just an assistant job, but it could lead to stepping stones so one day, he might get the chance to be in front of the camera. He also convinced Nick to call up his old boss, who graciously gave him a spot at the radio station. It didn’t take much time for Nick to work his magic and he ended up landing a job co-hosting the drive-home slot. It works for them. They don’t require a babysitter and they’re both home at night for dinner and to put Grayson to bed._ _

__So both Grimshaw boys should be here right now, they always are when he gets home from work. Louis finds it odd that they’re not running to greet him at the door._ _

__He walks farther into the flat, calling for Nick and Grayson but getting no response from either of them. He stops in the middle of the living room, glancing around the room and a feeling comes over him that something is off, that something is being hidden from him._ _

__All of the sudden, he hears quiet giggles coming from the hallway. He gently pads across the room, listening for the source of the noise. When he gets closer, he can tell it’s coming from Grayson’s bedroom. The door isn’t closed all the way, cracked just enough to let the light from inside the room spill into the dark hallway._ _

__Louis reaches out, pushing the door with his fingertips. The door isn’t even halfway open before Louis’ being assaulted by a small animal. When he looks down, he sees a puppy snapping his teeth at his ankles._ _

__“And what is this?” Louis asks without taking his eyes off the dog._ _

__“Her name’s Bailey!” Grayson’s telling him as he appears in the doorway. “Daddy got her for me! It’s my birthday present!”_ _

__Grayson picks up the puppy, cradles her in his arms and the dog instantly calms down, as if Grayson is some sort of Dog Whisperer._ _

__Louis remembers Nick asking him once about getting a dog for his son when he got older, and now that Grayson is nearly three, Nick must have thought he could handle the responsibility._ _

__“Oh, he did, did he?” Louis moves his line of sight so it lands on Nick’s face. He’s met with a shrug from Nick. “Well, just so you know. I don’t clean up dog poop. Cleaning up after Grayson is one thing. But that dog is completely your responsibility.”_ _

__“You’ll change your mind,” Nick says as if he can read the future. “Just wait. You’ll fall in love with her. Just like you fell in love with Grayson and just like you fell in love with me.”_ _

__“You’re so sure of yourself, aren’t you?” Louis asks._ _

__“I’m not wrong, am I?” He answers with a smirk. “You loooooove us.”_ _

__“Yeah, I do,” Louis says softly._ _

__Later that night, after Grayson and Bailey are sound asleep, Louis asks Nick how the radio went that day. He didn’t get to listen to the show, was too busy chasing an almost-three year old and a puppy around the flat after Nick left until he gave up and laid flat on his stomach in the middle of the floor. The two little ones finally got tired of running circles and ended up laying on Louis’ back._ _

__Nick found the three of them in that position, asleep, when he got home from work._ _

__Nick immediately looks guilty when Louis asks about his day. “Umm. About that. Actually…” He trails off and Louis is left hanging on to his last syllable. Nick downs the last of his glass of wine and gets up from the couch. Louis’ eyes follow him as he disappears into the hallway, only to appear a few seconds later holding a stack of papers._ _

__“What are those?” Louis asks hesitantly._ _

__“These,” Nick says as he lays the papers on the coffee table, “are adoption papers.”_ _

__Louis can’t find the words to respond so he just repeats the last words Nick said as he stares at the packet of papers. “Adoption papers.”_ _

__“Yeah. I didn’t go to work today, actually. Umm, I picked up these instead? And I know this is a big step, a huge step actually, and I completely understand if you don’t want to. But, I want you to adopt Grayson.” Nick reaches out, grabbing Louis’ hands and placing them in his lap before continuing. “I want him to be ours, Louis. I mean, he’s already ours, at least in my eyes, but this would make it legal. I want you to be his dad, his other dad.”_ _

__Louis’ nodding his head excitedly, tears already brimming in his eyes, before he can verbalize his feelings. “Yes. Of course, yes.” He doesn’t bother wiping away his tears or trying to hide them, just turns towards Nick and pulls him into a kiss._ _

__When they break apart, Louis jumps up, searching the flat for a pen. “I’m going to be a dad. Fuck. This is actually happening, yeah?”_ _

__“Yeah,” Nick says, grabbing a pen from the table next to him, holding it up for Louis to take. “It’s actually happening.”_ _

__When Louis sees it, he rushes back to the couch, grabs the pen from Nick’s hand and frantically signs his name on the appropriate lines. He finishes his last signature and hands the pen to Nick so he can do the same._ _

__After all the required lines are filled out, Louis grabs Nick’s hand and they walk towards their bedroom. They stop at Grayson’s room on the way, pushing the door open just wide enough so they can both look in._ _

__And there he is, Nick’s son, soon to be Louis’ son, sleeping in his bed, curled up next to their new puppy. Louis kind of can’t believe this is how his life turned out, that this family is his now._ _

__“I love you,” Nick whispers, pressing a kiss to Louis’ cheek._ _

__“I love you, too,” Louis says, and then he’s pulling Nick away from Grayson’s doorway and towards their own._ _

__As he lays in bed that night, Nick sleeping soundly beside him, he thinks he’s exactly where he needs to be. He had no idea that knocking on Nick’s door the night Grayson was sick would lead to this. Had no idea what was waiting for him inside of this flat that he now calls home. But he does know that his mind hasn’t changed since he shared that bottle of wine with Nick that first night._ _

__He looks down at the man sleeping next to him, follows his arm until his eyes rest on Nick’s hand, palm laying flat right above where Louis’ heart beats in his chest, as if the rhythm of Louis’ heartbeat lulled him to sleep._ _

__Louis smiles to himself as he closes his eyes. He’s got everything he wants. He has Nick, he has Grayson, and now he has Bailey, their own little family._ _

__And he has a ring hidden in a duffel in the bottom of their closet, just waiting to be put on Nick’s finger._ _

__He’s in it one hundred percent. He’s not going anywhere._ _


End file.
